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longgone's avatar

Have you ever needed to change your life?

Asked by longgone (19539points) September 21st, 2014

I’m in my mid-twenties, studying law. By now, I am completely sure that law is not what I want to be studying. I am at least six years away from being able to earn any money in this field, and I already know I won’t be happy in the world of suits, business cards and polished shoes.

I know what I don’t want to be doing, but I don’t have the courage to make a change. I don’t even know what this change would look like, but at the same time, I desperately need one. I’m scared of getting stuck, and I feel like my time is running away.

I don’t take the time to even think about it, and asking this question is my attempt at forcing me to. I need some Fluther mentors, please.

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15 Answers

El_Cadejo's avatar

Don’t be afraid. If you want change in your life just go for it. It may seem scary at first, the unknown, but you’ll find that most of this is all in your head. I just made a huge life changing decision myself recently. I was tired of living in the United States and wanted more from life. Four days ago I moved to Costa Rica to finish school. I don’t speak Spanish(yet) , I don’t have very much money, but I’m still young(25) and I know that if I am motivated and positive, good things will come of the experience. When I get done this semester I will be moving permanently to Belize. It’s going to be a lot of work, but it will all be worth it I believe.

We make our own opportunities in life, find what you want in life and work for it, I’m sure you’ll be much happier for it rather than sticking with something you don’t enjoy.

I’ll leave ya with a quote from Terence McKenna
”“Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering its a feather bed.” ”

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

You better make that change right now if you know it’s not what you want. You’re 25, that’s young and perfectly normal to change course at that age.

deni's avatar

Don’t be scared, you will be so much happier once you follow your heart. Get out of that field now! Yuck! Do something you want to do, whatever that may be! You are much more likely to find your true calling and true happiness that way. And don’t listen to the haters, they are all unhappy.

dappled_leaves's avatar

“I know what I don’t want to be doing, but I don’t have the courage to make a change.”

Well, yes you do. You clearly do, or you wouldn’t have stated so unequivocally that you do not want to be practicing law. Perhaps what you need help with is choosing a new field, or figuring out how much time to invest in that new field (say, if you need more school before being able to earn money in that field).

Once you’ve decided what to do next, you won’t need courage to make a change – the excitement will take over. But… what’s it going to be? You’ve had a little time, by your 20s, to look around a bit, and meet a lot of people who do different things, and also to observe what ideas make you perk up and smile. Based on all of that, can you give us some thoughts about what you’d rather?

janbb's avatar

As you know, I had change thrust upon me suddenly and had to play catch-up in building a new life.

You are in a good place and time to do so. Don’t waste any more time doing something you know you’ll hate. What is your passion? How can you make it pay the rent?

Buttonstc's avatar

There’s a book titled “What Color is Your Parachute?” which you might find helpful in terms of what new direction you might find fulfilling.

Clearly it’s not in Law. So get out ASAP and find a more inspiring direction for you.

longgone's avatar

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is going to help, I think. I already feel a tiny bit more hopeful.

I don’t lack ideas. Here’s what I’m enthusiastic about:

1. I’ve been interested in education for ages. I’d like to change things there, make school fun. I’m pretty good with children.

2. I used to? like writing.

3. I like animals, especially dogs.

Those are the three fields I keep thinking about. Here’s my thoughts on them:

1. I know I am good at teaching. I tutor several children, and I make them laugh a lot while also being able to explain concepts pretty well. However, I don’t want to be a teacher – I wouldn’t be happy in the school system. I have a huge problem with forcing children to learn, and unfortunately, I’d be required to do so at least during training. Also, I’m scared of talking to groups, though I would probably be fine with children.

2. I wrote a 200-page-manuscript a couple of years ago, two pages every day. I liked that a lot. However, I (obviously) have no idea whether my style and ideas would sell. Recently, I haven’t been writing much, because I don’t have a lot of free time.

3. I know quite a bit about dogs, and I know I will always want one living with me. Working with dogs, the obvious would be dog trainer. This, I think, would bore me after a while. I’m helping out at a dog obedience school at the moment, and I do like it…but having to welcome new people all the time is exhausting. I also, as mentioned above, have a huge problem talking to groups of people. Terrifies me. Working with just the dogs would be fine.

General observations:

Ideally, I would like to work with other people. I think I need some accountability. I don’t need a boss to make me work, but I do need someone to rely on me. This is why writing may not be a great idea. I love being alone, but I don’t think I could handle being alone all day. I also think I need at least some variation in my days.

janbb's avatar

The private dog trainer who worked with Frodo and me was wonderful. She came to the hosue and worked one on one (or two) with us.

Buttonstc's avatar

Since you have an affinity for children but don’t particularly like groups and such, you might want to consider going into either the therapy field in general or concentrate on being a guidance counselor or child psychologist.

This way you are in a helping position but not forcing some type of curriculum upon them.

Generally speaking, you would most likely be happy in a field where you typically work one-on-one with either children or adults.

Being a physical therapist or a Child Life Specialist in a hospital setting is another possibility.

snowberry's avatar

Yep, and I did too! My personality is a 180 ° difference from 20 years ago and now. It can be done!

chinchin31's avatar

Just do it…Stop studying that stuff. You will be glad you did or you will end up unhappy forever.

I am in a similar profession to you, except I forced myself to finish the studies. When I was studying I felt the same way after the first year , however my father told me I have to finish it as he was paying for it. I did eventually finish it . But I regret not being more defiant.

I am more of a creative person than a business person. I actually wanted to study languages instead. I think I would have been much happier now. Everyday I feel the pain of picking the wrong career in life.

Now that I am in my 30s I feel like it is too late because I am married now and want to spend this phase of my life enjoying life . I dont’ want to be spending my weekends studying like I did in my 20s.

Please get out while you can. Working in an office is not as glamorous as it seems on tv. It is full of long hours, politics, backstabbing, jealousy and moody and weird people.

Just go for it. Many people do it.

Maybe this is not a good example but Mark Zuckerburg did ( he dropped out of one of the most prestigious universities ) and look at where he is now.

Mid twenties is a good time to make a career change.

Here2_4's avatar

Put them all together. Start up a pet therapy clinic. See what you can do about getting research funds or grants. Have a staff of different animals, and caregivers. Use them to visit children who are ill. Use them to help kids learn, get through therapies, and face terminal ilnesses. Write books about the studies involved with pet therapy. Write books with experiences you have; short stories. Some chapters about the animals, some about the patients. You may be able to obtain grants by logging experiences and results. You could also write children’s books involving pet therapy. A pop up book would be a lot of work, but rewarding, I imagine. If it were written with the children who could use pet therapy in mind, they could have something to entertain them when the pet is not around.
Some good animals to use for therapy are; guinea pigs, cats, dogs, bunnies, some breeds of birds are docile enough and very trainable.
I just about have myself talked into it.

longgone's avatar

Well, I’ve applied for an internship with a therapy dog training facility. Also, I requested information from a school for training service dogs. Today, I’ll try writing a little – I love the idea of a children’s book about a therapy dog!

So excited!! Thanks, everyone! :]

Here2_4's avatar

How exciting! I want an autographed copy. Tell me when it is out, and where I have to send it to get my copy signed! I am so thrilled! I know you will love it.

longgone's avatar

^ Definitely! You get a free copy for inspiring me.

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