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L1952's avatar

How can I get my husband (soon ex husband) to pay my attorney fee's for divorce?

Asked by L1952 (206points) September 28th, 2014 from iPhone

I haven’t really discussed the divorce with my lawyer yet because we are currently going through another case involving my daughter but my husband is being extremely difficult, He ignores my calls, Text messages, Everything as much as he can because he is involved with someone else. He filed divorce about 2 months ago, I am now 7 months pregnant with possible preeclampsia, I am not well, and I have tried to ask him to help at least pay $100 towards my rent because I am not working my full 40 hours at work because I really just don’t feel I am well enough, He refuses to do anything, He always says when the baby is born he will pay the child support, and he leaves it at that, I’ve tried to explain to him a baby needs things before it’s actually here but he doesn’t believe me and thinks I am lying to get money out of him. I don’t know what to do, I cannot afford my lawyers fee’s again now because I’ve paid him over $3,000.00 for the case I am going through now but I really feel I need him there to help me and to assure my husband will not have visitation like he’s requested in the petition.

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20 Answers

Seaofclouds's avatar

Talk to your lawyer to see if there is anything he can do to help you out or if he can refer you to legal aide or someone to take your case pro bono.

You cannot force him to pay for your stuff right now. The only hope you have is that you will receive some kind of spousal support in addition to child support. Otherwise, he has no obligation (legally) to help you with your rent.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Honey, you keep asking us these legal questions that we are not qualified to answer. If your reason for continuing to do this is just to have a bit of a rant then phrase the question another way and rant on.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

What he needs is someone to go and beat the living daylights out of him for his lack of responsibility and you need to move on and stop expecting anything from him. He won’t ever be by your side and the sooner you pick up the pieces and move on, the better it will be for you. You are tougher than you think! Don’t even give him the time of day again!

L1952's avatar

Thank you @ZEPHYRA, you’re right.

dappled_leaves's avatar

For Pete’s sake, please ask these questions of your lawyer. No one here has better answers than they do.

Stop expecting your husband to respond with compassion; you have no reason to expect his behaviour to suddenly change. This is only wishful thinking, and it’s harming your ability to cope.

zenvelo's avatar

I had to pay my exe’s lawyer’s fee, because I was the one who was the petitioner, and she had no money. That’s pretty standard when the husband leaves that they pay the attorney’s fees. Talk to you lawyer about it, he or she will be on it like cold on ice.

L1952's avatar

He’s the petitioner, and clearly I cannot afford it, He knows it’s too, Thank you @zenvelo I’ll have to ask my lawyer about it after my current case is over.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Let us know how the case concerning you daughter turns out, please.

janbb's avatar

My Ex initiated but I paid all my own legal fees. Maybe it varies from state to state?

dappled_leaves's avatar

@L1952 “I’ll have to ask my lawyer about it after my current case is over.”

I don’t understand why you feel that you need to wait… does this mean that effectively, you have no lawyer for your divorce? Why are you not able to talk to your lawyer about both cases?

L1952's avatar

@dappled_leaves A question I was asked during my deposition from the other parties lawyer was if my husband and I were still married (because we are, legally) I stated we were, They did not mention or ask if divorce was filed, So I didn’t mention it either, I’m pretty sure MY lawyer knows because he has my files and access to public files but he hasn’t said anything just yet, And he doesn’t like to talk about more then one situation at once, If that makes sense? Like if we are going to court for one thing he won’t talk to me about the following court date because he doesn’t want me to get ahead of myself or get confused, or upset. It’s just the kind of lawyer he is, My court date is next week so I will be talking to him about the divorce right after court is over as we are leaving the court room.

dappled_leaves's avatar

@L1952 Interesting. I didn’t know you had no lawyer for your divorce. I seem to recall several people having asked you whether you had one, and you confirmed that you did.

L1952's avatar

@dappled_leaves not for my divorce, I do for my situation with my daughter because it’s a more serious case, and he’s been my lawyer throughout the whole custody process. I stated before I didn’t think it was necessary to have a lawyer for my divorce because besides being pregnant we really have nothing to argue about but now that the date is getting closer and his true colors are coming out I felt it may be necessary, Either way if I can get a bit of advice out of my lawyer without having him there I would like to try ..

janbb's avatar

Is the guy you are currently divorcing the same one who is accused of child molestation or are there two scumbags in your life?

L1952's avatar

No they’re not the same person @janbb I’ve just had bad luck.

dappled_leaves's avatar

@L1952 “Either way if I can get a bit of advice out of my lawyer without having him there I would like to try ..”

Given that it seems likely that your attorney’s fees will be covered by your husband anyway, I think you should not try to represent yourself in the divorce. This is the time when it will be determined what you and your child will get from his/her father – there will be lasting consequences from any decisions made here. You need someone with legal expertise and experience to be advocating for you and your child.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

You are already talking to a lawyer because of the situation with your daughter, just ask him about legally organising for legal support to cover your divorce. He will be able to give you informed advice. It’s more business for him! I’m sure he’ll be happy to advise you. Get yourself a notebook and start writing down the questions you have.

captainsmooth's avatar

Talk to your lawyer but you can probably get some money from your ex to pay things now.

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