Why does it anger and scares the bejesus out of the LGTB community if someone prominent like actress Cynthia Nixon says they chose to be gay?

Read all of this.

Thank you @ibstubro.

@Hypocrisy_Central It isn’t a matter of choice. Just like prison doesn’t make you gay.

I would wager the vast majority of “the LGTB community” don’t know or care what Cynthia Nixon thinks.

@zenvelo It isn’t a matter of choice. Just like prison doesn’t make you gay.
So Ms. Nixon was confused and don’t know herself, and everyone else knows her more tha she knows herself?

Read all of this.
Again

It does? I haven’t read anything to that effect. Is there an article you can share?

@ibstubro Read all of this.
Again
I read it the first time. If I had to glean any info from it off men hands, supposedly gay animals and the likes, is that the author is saying she made a choice. That making the choice had some root in culture, and is not truly genetic. Taking that evidence I would have to say gay people hear someone say they chose to be gay, that makes them out to be liars so they run scared, because maybe they are confused and do not know they are actually heterosexuals but missed the boat when it took off.

No one is running scared. I don’t give a fuck. If she chose it then good for her. She chose to have stupid questions asked about her all the time.

Because you can’t choose who you’re attracted to. Gay people can’t, straight people can’t and bi people can’t.

If she spent most of her life having relationships with men and then decided to have one with a woman, it doesn’t mean than she was a heterosexual who made the choice to be gay at a certain point. It only means that most of her relationships were with men, but that she’s still bi. If there’s any kind of romantic love and attraction for the same sex, you’re simply not straight.

Many in the LGBT crowd are fighting against the whole “homosexuality is a choice” thing, and Cynthia Nixon is undermining those efforts.

@ibstubro As there are no conclusive “smoking gun” irrefutable peer-reviewed studies backing that article, I’m not convinced by a source whose neutrality is questionable.

Because a lot of LGBT people are afraid that if people say it’s a “choice” then that means that the next logical step is to force all gay people to undergo ex-gay conversion therapy or that it being a choice makes it “illegitimate” somehow. If being gay is a choice, then no one is responsible for the degradation of society caused by homosexuality other than homosexuals themselves. And it’s their choice to put an end to it.

That is your answer. I am not saying I agree with those those points.

Of course, I could ask the inverse. Why do many anti-gay people need homosexuality to be a choice? Because they need to explain homosexuality as the result of sinful human choices, not something that God would ever instill in a person, since God doesn’t make mistakes. Even if they’re not religious, then they need it to be a choice because that means it can easily be changed if need be.

Personally, I don’t think it matters. All I will do is invalidate or confirm claims people make about me. “You’re only gay because someone must’ve molested you as a child”, “you’re gay because you’re trying to be different”, “you’re gay because you had a bad experience with a girl.” Wrong, wrong, and double wrong. You can keep trying to explain the origin of my homosexuality and if one day you find the right answer, kudos to you. But in the mean time, since I have no desire to change my sexuality, the question of how it came about is irrelevant to me.

@jerv Many in the LGBT crowd are fighting against the whole “homosexuality is a choice” thing, and Cynthia Nixon is undermining those efforts.
Thank you for a clear answer. It is what seemed to be the logical answer to me. The only other plausible one woulkd be that they are upset because her not knowing her, and that she was gay or bi and believing it was a choice still coimnes back to the root of the same tree, it is no choice in spite her thinking it is.

@DominicY Of course, I could ask the inverse. Why do many anti-gay people need homosexuality to be a choice?
I am going to say it like this, and I am sure some will not get the gist of it and with kneejerk efficiency launch the missile from their silos. <donning three layers of fire retardant cloaks and 5 layers of Kevlar> I don’t myself, but for those who might see it as you suggested would be no different than needing to see someone who has sex with a minor, to clarify, high school, who in their mind enters the tryst without coercion as sick, debased, perverted, etc.

Because they need to explain homosexuality as the result of sinful human choices, not something that God would ever instill in a person, since God doesn’t make mistakes.
If there was a ”because”, I would say it is because it takes the focus off their non-standard biological sexuality. If one believes in God, their course of action is different. I do not believe homosexuality is a choice, but neither is it genetic. Don’t ask me why because you could not follow it if you are not spiritual and have no belief in God. People create other humans. God just allowed life to take hold once humans put the right building blocks in order. Taking the stance from God originated, He made people with a perfectly operating brain, less any physical or mental illness resulting from iniquity, but men has the free will to short circuit that brain by subjecting it to all manner of chemical and hallucinogens. From a God-centered mandate, gays are in no worse or better state than heterosexuals that fornicate and commit adultery.

You can keep trying to explain the origin of my homosexuality and if one day you find the right answer, kudos to you.
I am not looking, for me, I know the answer, it will not make any sense, even if you cared, so I will respectfully leave it as that.

This is exactly why I say it doesn’t matter why someone is gay, we should respect them as human beings period. People can live and be committed to whomever they want and it’s nobody else’s business!

One argument gay people have against the religious right us that they were born gay; God made them gay. Take God out of the equation and who gives a shit why someone is gay?

Ok, maybe science and even gay people themselves are curious why some people do know from an extremely young age they are gay, or the wrong gender, etc, etc., but no one should be sitting in judgement of another persons journey in life as long as it is not hurting anyone else.

About 15 years ago I was seeing a therapist and for a few minutes being bisexual and gay cane up. I don’t know why it came up, something to do with my sister I would guess? My sister is bisexual, would prefer to be in a lesbian relationship, but usually winds up in straight relationships. All of her long term, live together relationships, of which there has been 3, have been with men. Anyway, the shrink made a comment that she knows many women who chose to be gay later in life. It took me aback a little at the time. I asked, “really?” And, she said that she sees it for a variety if reasons. I already felt like people can “choose” to live whomever they want, and that just reinforced it.

We all do choose in the sense that we evaluate a potential SO, deciding if they are someone who will be a good partner. Who we are attracted to sexually is part of it. Then you have to add in things like interests, integrity, desire to have children or not, how they like to spend free time, and on and on. A rabbi once said to a group of us, we all discriminate when we choose a person to marry. His point was marry a Jew, but I agreed with him in the sense that we do rule people out and in. Even if we are open to races, ethnicities, and religions, we still evaluate if someone is a good match. We discriminate in the sense that we are choosing what qualities we want in a life partner. If a person feels comfortable having sex with either gender then the other factors might be more important. With age a lot of women might prefer not to deal with so much testosterone in the house. My sister has been bisexual since forever, but some people tap into it more as they get older.

So what?

Not only does parts of the gay community need to get a grip, the straight one does too. Everyone needs to work on being accepting, and not feeling the need to make everyone think like themselves. We all have our own experiences in life.

I think the gay make community was perceived as very sexual and promiscuous (a gay friend of mine once said to me gay couples are compared to lesbian couples, because just think about it, two men. Even in straight couples the men are typically more sexual and more likely to cheat). His words, not mine. Then they go and adopt the word gay to describe themselves, which in some circles way back in the day in the 18th and 19th century, had the connotation of being free sexually. Maybe that wasn’t the best choice? No pun intended.

Male not make.

@JLeslie God made them gay. Take God out of the equation and who gives a shit why someone is gay?
Again, that is neither here, nor there, if a gay person did actually believe in God, their course of action would be different.

This is exactly why I say it doesn’t matter why someone is gay, we should respect them as human beings period.
I for one never said they should be disrespected, if it was said, I missed it in this thread.

I think the gay make community was perceived as very sexual and promiscuous (a gay friend of mine once said to me gay couples are compared to lesbian couples, because just think about it, two men. Even in straight couples the men are typically more sexual and more likely to cheat). His words, not mine.
There might be some truth to that in some areas. If the fact about how AIDS ran roughshod over the gays in the early 80s was it, that some hunky male flight attendant was the carrier and he was busy in both San Fran and NY, so once he infected someone, that person when on the gay bath houses and infected someone who infected someone, and so on, and so on. Everyone was boinking like the Energizer Bunny.

@Hypocrisy_Central

You assume no gay people believe in God, but that is not true. At all. There are plenty of gay Christians out there and it isn’t for you to tell them they are not who they say they are. If you are not them, then you don’t know their course of action. You don’t know their relationship with God.

Also, don’t act as if I wouldn’t understand your elevated spiritual thoughts. I have not indicated at all that I am not a spiritual person, so to make that assumption is unfair.

Furthermore, the comparison to people having sex with minors is interesting for only one reason. Even if we say that pedophiles don’t choose to be pedophiles (for who would choose to be a pedophile?), that doesn’t somehow make it more “right”. Just because you didn’t choose something, doesn’t mean that it is inherently good and likewise, just because you chose something, doesn’t mean that it is inherently wrong, trivial or illegitimate. So the “need” to see homosexuality as a choice (for anti-gay people) and not a choice (for gay people) really has little validity either way.

“I am not looking, for me, I know the answer, it will not make any sense, even if you cared, so I will respectfully leave it as that.”

Oh, I don’t know that it wouldn’t make any sense. It might make sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it would be right.

@Hypocrisy_Central I was not assuming anyone on this Q disrespected or was disrespectful to gay people. I’m just talking about people who are need to get a grip and treat people as they wanted to be treated themselves.

AIDS running through gay circles has little to do with promiscuity in the gay population. Gay sex is more likely to transmit AIDS. We can look at heterosexual cancers and deaths from cervical cancer and judge the straight community in the same way. People focus on what they want to see.

Because it provides ammo against the “it’s genetic” agenda. Even if misplaced and incorrectly used – she is cannon fodder.

@DominicY You assume no gay people believe in God, but that is not true. At all. There are plenty of gay Christians out there and it isn’t for you to tell them they are not who they say they are. If you are not them, then you don’t know their course of action. You don’t know their relationship with God.
Let me put it this way, I know many, many people who say they are Christian, no matter if they confess they are gay or not, I would not judge if they are or not, as you say, only the Father can read their heart. The only thing I can do is judge their actions as it lines up to the Word. If their life is not lining up there are two plausible reason, again, I don’t know which for certain, that they thought they invited Christ to be the head of their life but it was not sincere, or it was but they are not walling ion the power of the Spirit. Look at it this way, if you knew someone who claimed to be a carpenter, had the tools, new the jargon, but you never seen him nail even a dog house together and he always had some reason he could never bring out his saws, nail gun, etc. to even repair a planter box, you might start to wonder if he was even a real carpenter; for if he were a carpenter you would see him doping what carpenters do.

Furthermore, the comparison to people having sex with minors is interesting for only one reason. Even if we say that pedophiles don’t choose to be pedophiles (for who would choose to be a pedophile?), that doesn’t somehow make it more “right”.
It was an illustration of how gays might see (and in most cases do) a particular sex act as heinous, debased etc. so, they should understand if there are those in the alleged ”Christian Right” would see homosexuality with equal distain. No one would tell gays they had to be cool with anyone who has pedophilia if they did not want to, but it seems as if gays are requiring all Christians to accept their homosexuality even though it might be totally icky to them. Being more right or less wrong has nothing to do with it, because if you truly walk in the Spirit, they are equally wrong, and traveling with them are straight people who are fornicating and committing adultery

Oh, I don’t know that it wouldn’t make any sense. It might make sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it would be right.
The last ⅔ of that sentence alludes to the fact you would not get it, you are already predisposed not to believe any oart of it already.

@JLeslie AIDS running through gay circles has little to do with promiscuity in the gay population. Gay sex is more likely to transmit AIDS.
The documentary I saw seems to believe it was a contributing factor. You cannot get AIDS by just brushing up against people who have it, it is spread by a very specific way. For simplicity sake if only a dozen gay men somehow contracted AIDS but all they did was have sex with their partners, at best, only a few dozen would have had it, maybe a little more if there would have been some breakups and partners split, but the spread would not have been as fast or spread as wide as it did had it not for some gays having many partners

@Hypocrisy_Central

Well, that comes down to interpretation of the Word. If there were no differing interpretations, there’d be no difference between Catholics, Protestants, etc. The fact that those different groups exist show that there are always different interpretations, but they all have the same core beliefs in common. Likewise, all carpenters work with wood, so your analogy isn’t quite right. It would have to be a much more trivial difference that we noticed with that particular carpenter, but that carpenter would still be seen with wood, hammer, nails, etc. Just as gay Christians still believe in the saving power of Jesus Christ. You might believe they are mistaken about other beliefs. Just as Catholics think Protestants are incorrect in their beliefs about the Eucharist (and vice versa).

“Being more right or less wrong has nothing to do with it, because if you truly walk in the Spirit, they are equally wrong, and traveling with them are straight people who are fornicating and committing adultery”

I don’t think you understood the point of what I was saying. My point was about the original topic at hand: choice vs. non-choice. Pedophilia being a non-choice doesn’t somehow make it right, thus the need to establish homosexuality as a non-choice in order to justify it is misguided, because non-choices are not inherently right. So “non-choices” are not always good sources of justification or legitimacy. This has nothing to do with accepting or not accepting homosexuality. The Christian Right won’t accept it whether or not it is a choice, so that has nothing to do with the choice vs. non-choice argument.

“The last ⅔ of that sentence alludes to the fact you would not get it, you are already predisposed not to believe any oart of it already.”

Um, no it doesn’t. It means that it is not necessarily true. You are claiming that you know for a fact that it is true. That is a bold statement and I am warning you that just because you believe it to be true, does not mean that it actually is. If your requirements for sharing it are that I believe it 100%, then you are going to have to make a big gamble.

@Hypocrisy_Central No question multiple sex partners helped to spread AIDS. My point is the heterosexual community has multiple partners too. Most of our diseases don’t kill, at least not so fast. Back in the day people had to get a blood test for syphilis in many (maybe all) states to get a marriage license.

Cervical cancer, being a girl cancer, was never really given the PR that is was caused by an STD until Merck could make some money from it. We’ve known for about 30 years HPV causes cervical cancer. Back then was just the beginning of women being able to say things like breast cancer in mixed company. AIDS was fast. Killing people within months or a few years of them realizing they were sick, and they were very sick. Plus, it was happening to men. Within their community they could talk about it. Like I said earlier, women are more likely to live in shame and be quiet about things for multiple reasons. That’s changing over time. I knew and know many gay men who are HIV positive. How many women do you know personally who have had a bad PAP smear? They are all around you.

Not being gay, I have no fucking clue.

If there’s anyone who’s in-tune with what the Gay Community (who, obviously, are one big hive-mind) thinks I’m certain it’s @Hypocrisy_Central.

Because in real life, unlike Fluther, screaming ignorance cannot be unfollowed.

I am part of the LGBT community, and I have one question: Who is Cynthia Nixon?

One further point is that entertainment personalities will say virtually anything—whether they believe it or not—if they (or their agent) believes it will increase their visibility, and, hopefully, their popularity.

Still, the entire LGBT community needs to consistently speak with one voice: “We were born this way. Get over it.”

@DominicY Likewise, all carpenters work with wood, so your analogy isn’t quite right.
It is quite right, as you say, the operative word is work. To merely possess tools and even piles of lumber but never touching either, is not working. If a person confesses to being a Christian but they are doing nothing Christ instructs us to do in His Word, it is like a confessed carpenter who never touches the wood, or tools as to not even appear to be who he says. If he was working with the wood but his work was piss poor, then I could say he was a carpenter, just a very poorly skilled on; like a Christian who doesn’t know how to walk in power of the Spirit (most likely because they are not engaged with the teachings of the Bible).

My point was about the original topic at hand: choice vs. non-choice. Pedophilia being a non-choice doesn’t somehow make it right, thus the need to establish homosexuality as a non-choice in order to justify it is misguided, because non-choices are not inherently right.
My point has nothing to do with trying to make pedophilia right, more right, or homosexuality as wrong as it. My point is, if you lined up 100 gay men and asked them is pedophilia is OK, I can bet my donuts to anyone’s dollars none of them say men will openly support pedophilia because it is something universally seen in society (especially in the US) icky and debased. The same way, as far as icky and debased goes, some people will view homosexuality. In the same manner you would not find anyone telling gays they have to be accepting of pedophilia because they are born with it, (and I am sure gays would be put off if they felt someone was trying to force them to take that stand), some people are equally put off having people try to force them to accept the gay lifestyle when it to them is as icky and debased as pedophilia is to the gay community. That is the point I was making.

Um, no it doesn’t. It means that it is not necessarily true. You are claiming that you know for a fact that it is true. That is a bold statement and I am warning you that just because you believe it to be true, does not mean that it actually is
One can say that of a good many things. I really will not know for certain until I am dead and can ask the Father directly. Outside of that, I have just the Word and what it alludes to glean the facts I base my decision on. One can say of those who profess being gay from toddlerhood, as being incorrect even thought to the person making the declaration it is true to a certainty, until they isolate a cause for gayness or completely rule it out and can prove it is nurture or upbringing, there is nothing all-encompassing to say so.

I have no idea who Cynthia Nixon is.

Her decisions are none of my business so whether I agree with them or not, it’s none of my business.

Live and let live. The gay community should care just about as much as I do.

What’s the big deal?

^ What’s the big deal?
Because if she chose to be gay and was not simply born that way without a choice, she guts the argument that being gay is just the way they are, and thus, ”normal”, so there is no reason to listen to ideas they can be straight if they really wanted to.