So you want to be my webhost?

Quick! I’m looking at webhosts, and one of my potential hosts has a deal that expires at the end of today (Christmas), so give me tips, fast!

I’m looking for a webhost. I don’t need anything particularly high-powered—I’d probably wind up getting the cheapest plan at whatever company I go to.

Advice/horror stories/super stories/etc. from your host or ones you know about? Thanks! :D