It seems to me that my father and mother have alternated in their level of involvement throughout my life. I imagine that in infancy my mother was very present, though I don’t remember that period. Throughout early childhood I have very few memories of my mother. She was there, but most of my interaction was with my father. He is a researcher into early childhood education through imaginative play, so for most of that period he would actually participate when I pretended to be a pirate or a dinosaur or a dragon. As I’ve gotten older, my mom has become more involved again, particularly in my schooling. I’m not sure how I feel about this, because though she’s been wonderful about helping me through the whole process of college, she’s also very demanding and I constantly feel as though I’m indebted to her.
My mother is also not the most stable person in the world. It’s difficult to tell when she’s going to be happy and calm or stressed out and angry. She also works too much, which contributes to her being stressed out most of the time. My father is one of the most even-tempered people I know, and we are very similar in many ways, but I sometimes feel as though he is dominated by my mother’s stronger personality, and I wish he’d stick up for himself a bit more. In fact, I feel I’ve been dominated by my mother to a certain degree, and I sometimes feel like I argue with her just so I don’t feel she’s controlling me, instead of for any real reason.
I don’t love either of them more than the other – they’ve been there for me in different ways and at different times in my life, and I have my problems with both of them, but they’re my parents and I wouldn’t trade our relationship for anything.