Fluther: I judge people's actions, but does that make me a jerk?

I judge people's actions, but does that make me a jerk?

Asked by scars2b (111

) October 27th, 2010
8 responses
“Great Question” (3

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Some say that I see things in black and white, write or wrong, and it’s sort of true, but I do understand the gray areas (the circumstances). So if someone wrongs me in some way without explanation, I’m done with them.

It’s trickier when it comes to friends and relationships. They have more leeway, but I recently find that I’m cutting people out of my life. I don’t want that, but I find it difficult to care less about someone, to lower my expectations, or to simply not give a fuck.

If I forgive them, won’t it make me dismissive, passive, and it’ll just happen again and again. Or if I don’t let go and forgive, does that make me a jerk?

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Topics: relationships, human behavior

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Answers

If you have valid reasons i would say thats ok, so long as you dont have a problem with someone just because the color of their skin, or the way they dress, or some irrelevant thing. i think everyone judges people, even if they claim they dont, they probably do on some level.

poisonedantidote (21675

)“Great Answer” (1

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It’s really hard, at least for me, to comment with such a vague description, without a better understanding of what exactly the “wrongs” are that people have committed against and what you are unable to forgive them for. Without more detail it seems pretty hard to tell whether you’re a completely unreasonable jackass or just someone who doesn’t care to waste time and energy on people who aren’t worth wasting time and energy on or something in between.

lillycoyote (24865

)“Great Answer” (2

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Nope (to the question), it makes you human. Just make sure you do not judge unfairly or you will find making new friends difficult, but we all judge others when we first meet them. It is completely natural.

Sandman (529

)“Great Answer” (0

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I say never settle for less…especially with people. LITS to waste time with people who screw with you and expect you to just take it. Kick em to the curb and never look back.

Cruiser (40449

)“Great Answer” (1

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Depends on the scale. I fucking hate my fathers side of the family and haven’t talked to them in ten years. They were easy to write off.

My buddy Aaron steals beers from my fridge if I am asleep. It pisses me off but he is a friend. If he slept with my GF that would be the end of our friendship.

jrpowell (40562

)“Great Answer” (1

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I can’t help it but I have a forgiving nature and find it difficult to hold a grudge. If an acquaintance commits minor offenses, like steal a beer or two, I’ll confront him and have him deliver a six pack or two. If he doesn’t then he’s locked out of my house until he comes to his senses and brings the beer.

If he stole my car and didn’t have a good excuse, I’d report it to the police then still probably forgive him. If he slept with my wife or tried to, he’s have her to contend with. If he hit my wife, he gets a beating and goes to jail. I’d probably forgive then forget him after I cooled down.

Ron_C (14480

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