Government assistance, in most cases. Most of the young people or couples that I know receive financial assistance once they have a child. Assuming they actually can’t afford it.

In our case, my son and his wife had both of their kids when he was working and had medical benefits, then he lost his job (both times). They are now on government assistance and the parents are helping with their expenses.

Yoiu “don’t know any of them well enough to just ask how they do it” but you know they are jobless?

WIC, food stamps, public assistance and free childcare…and yes, illegal activity, in some cases..you do what you gotta do and I don’t judge them.

@jaytkay: Yes, I do. My boyfriend’s couisin is in this siuation. I ask my boyfriend how they survive and he honestly replies with, “I don’t even know.” Both parents of the baby are jobless and one has a suspended DL.

@TheOnlyNeffie and Simone_De_Beauvoir: Do you know how much those programs provide in general? I am really interested to know about this question for some reason. I am baffled because it just seems so impossible to survive in this situation…

@Evelyn_475 It varies – when I used WIC, it provided a lot of the formula and money for foods…if coupled with food stamps, affording food would be no issue…public assistance isn’t much – couple of hundred a month but if you live in city housing and you get rent assistance, then your rent is okay…free childcare and if you have a little part time job, then it’s hard but you can live.

@Evelyn_475 They get help with rent or rent paid in full, food stamps, and if they had worked in the past, they will get unemployment.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir summed it up pretty nicely. I don’t have children, so I have never received assistance, but I know that my close friends or family that have… it varies on what you receive. They base it on the number of people in your home, your income, and what you really need. Food stamps, WIC, rent, childcare, utilities.. you have to request and qualify for each individually in most cases. Here in Ohio, anyhow.

I also know that in some cases there are big stipulations to receiving assistance. For example, when my husband and I were both laid off we were well under the poverty level. We applied for medicaid, but they would have given me a 30 hour a week job to “earn” my assistance.
I ended up finding a job right after that, which is why it didn’t happen that way.

General Assistance for my son, family of 4 is around $788 a month. WIC provides food coupons and requires them to attend nutrition classes, plus they receive food stamps in the amount of $600 or so a month. All of the assistance has a limit time period, but I don’t know right off hand what it is. They also receive discounted gas and electricity. Her disabled mother and grandmother on social security live with them. They pay half of their income towards the expenses.

We have been making the payments on the 3 bedroom house they live in, which is in our name. We bought it as an investment, but the value is now ½ of what we paid. We have also supplied the car they drive, although they pay for the insurance and gas.

Any reason why you are just asking “How are these women able to provide for their children?” All children have fathers, don’t they? Somewhere? It’s basic biology.

@lillycoyote is on to something.

I know that it isn’t the same everywhere, or for every parent.. but child support can bring in a killing. I know way too many men that fork over 60%-70% of their paycheck every week, even if it leaves them in extreme poverty.

I’m sure once you find yourself in that situation you somehow find the way to make ends meet. Surely they struggle a lot and perhaps they could have made a better choice, but what’s done is done and they simply have to find a way. I try not to be judgmental, we all come from different walks of life and we all have our reasons for doing the things we do. Nobody knows what kind of a life those women have had better than they do. Some people are just born into better circumstances than others. That’s just the way life is.

@TheOnlyNeffie Do you really know that many men who are paying 60% to 70% of their income in child support? You will have to show me or I will have to look into the actual numbers, statistics and demographics before you can convince me that that is typical or that many or even a small minority of women are making a “killing” off of child support.

I can think of 3 that I know personally, yes. I can think of others that have jumped in on the conversation, and although they didn’t give me the details of their paychecks, have said that the percentage that they share with their ex is considerable enough to make it nearly impossible for them to survive, themselves.
I happen to be married to a man who was paying 70% of his income for years while we were together, it nearly destroyed us financially. The media plays up the deadbeat dad aspect in most cases, but it is never taken into consideration how difficult it might be for the fathers to meet the financial requirements from the state. I’m not saying that is always the case, but there are plenty of guys who fall through the cracks and have no chance to defend themselves because the media and society have given such a bad name to men who are do not have sole custody of their children.
Granted “3” people isn’t exactly a ton, but considering those are ones that I know personally, it sure feels like a lot. It also feels like “a lot” when that money is leaving your household.
In many states it is not even legal to take that much.
Of course, there are also countless women that don’t make a cent from child support. Probably more of them than the other, but that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t factor in as a possibility.

@TheOnlyNeffie No, I agree. It should be fair. But I’m curious, if you don’t mind me asking, was all of that 70% of your husband’s income actually going towards child support or was some of that alimony? Because for me those are two separate issues. Was he helping to pay college expenses or something like that?

@lillycoyote I actually know a couple too. It’s really not that easy to get away with not paying child support in the U.S. Maybe in third world countries it is but not here. They can be put in jail if they don’t pay up. I have a friend who’s always broke cause most of his money goes to his child support and he has a pretty decent job. Child support is no joke.

@kheredia is right. The potential to go to jail comes pretty quickly. I have personally been in a position where I had to decide whether to pay child support or buy food for the first time in a month. Which equates to “does my husband go to jail, or do we eat?”

Of course I don’t agree with the actual “deadbeat” dads out there, but there are plenty of good fathers that are trying really hard, and they don’t get the credit they deserve. The media loves to make men the bad guys.

I just feel like child support is a source of income for young mothers that shouldn’t be ruled out. There are women who make a decent income from their child support.

@TheOnlyNeffie Thanks for your response. I probably shouldn’t have asked a question regarding your family’s private financial matters in the first place but I appreciate your willingness to continue our discussion via PMs. That seems to be the most appropriate way to go.

Thank you, everyone, for your responses. Very insightful. I didn’t mean to leave the male out of the equation when I orignially asked the question. I didn’t factor in child support because those I know of in the situation are still with the father. They just have a hard time making ends meat. But I too can recall stories where the father is placed under house arrest until he pays a certain number of months worth of child support.