My parents did not help me at all as an adult. It was all they could do to cover their own needs. I was on my own from the time I dropped out of college (on full scholarship) as a junior, got a job, and moved into an apartment. When I went back to school four years later and got my degree, I was paying.
In her later years I sent my mother money regularly, paid for various special needs, and bought her a car. She was basically getting by on my late father’s social security. She died with nothing, not even enough to pay for burial. That’s one of my worst nightmares.
My husband’s parents gave us a handsome check several years running when they needed to reduce their taxable income, and that helped us pay off the mortgage. We also borrowed money from them when we added onto the house, but paid it back as fast as possible. The main thing they did was leave substantial investments when they passed away, including an allotment for their grandchildren’s education. That put one of my sons through college and law school.
We took care of my older son’s expenses until he got a job, and we made him a sizeable loan at his request to help him get through bar study, buy a car, and get started in his own place. Now he’s repaying us monthly.
My younger son is still at home with us, so we’re covering his expenses while he sorts things out.