Men who don’t will have a slightly distracted look. They will lose portions of the conversation. They will make innane and inappropriate comments at odd moments. They may find multiple excuses to excuse themselves for long moments. They will find virtually everything to be more interesting than what the woman is saying: the TV, the view out the window, the bug crawling across the floor… anything.

It is unfortunately still relatively common, although that has changed a bit in the last 50 years.

I had three daughters, but I don’t know what they would say if you asked them that last question. I like to think that I appreciated them and enjoyed their company, but they would be better judges of that than I.

I enjoy the company of someone that can keep my attention. Motivating me to keep theirs.

My father had alot of preconceived notions about women and how they should think and behave as well as how he felt he should behave around them. It all seemed rather self serving. A man with social anxiety and gender bias whose way of dealing with anyone confronting him on this score was to disappear into the basement or the garage. If you were and woman and got into a disagreement with him on anything you were automatically wrong. Why? Because you were female. And he adhered to a double set of standards for what women could do versus what men could do. For example, never mind that my brothers had no natural aptitude or talent for the trades and I did. He got them well paying jobs on construction crews but made it clear he would not do the same for me…because women didn’t belong on construction crews in his opinion. And when I had an opportunity to buy a small one bedroom cottage that was once the homestead of an extended family member he vetoed it. Wouldn’t help me secure the lending because in his opinion no women should own property without a husband. He blocked my ability to progress in ways I might have in life. It may be one of the reasons I married in the way I did because although not an extremely successful match for me long term it enabled me to raise my daughters in ways that saw to their own progress in life not being impeded.

@Joybird Sounds like our fathers were cut from the same mold. I could add to your examples: women were laughable drivers, and any woman who’d go into a public bar was a whore, (actually there were only two kinds of women ~ saints and sluts).

I don’t know anything about men who don’t like women. I mean, I know gay men, but I don’t think that’s what you mean.

My father loved women, and was always flirting with my sister’s friends. He was just a flirt. He never did anything. I don’t know if they thought it was creepy or not.

A man who loves women will talk to women at the party, not the men. He’ll hang around your group or seek you out. He will not want to insult you or make you uncomfortable. He’ll be respectful and kind. You might think he’s a wimp because he is interested in your choices and doesn’t try to tell you what you have to do.

In the end, though, if you give such a man a chance, you’ll probably find it’s a very different kind of experience than hanging out with men who ignore you or don’t care what you say.

In our 45 years of marriage, my wife and i have enjoyed each others company to the max. we unknowingly played together at the ages of 5 and 7. my grandmother lived across the street from her house and we played together in the dirt, way back then. we did not realize this until we married and began to trace our families back in time. then it hit us…..that was you and that was me!!

I believe in destiny. our meeting as children, is a prime example.

In my job, i have met and have many women who are friends, not girlfriends. its okay to have female and male friends. this is what trust and social skills are all about. we have a daughter that grew up and loved her mom and dad. she received the utmost care and education that i could afford.

Differences: men and women are like strawberry, chocolate and vanilla ice cream. all of us are different. its how each of us treat each other, that makes the difference. to accept people as they are. i have always had an open mind to long hair, tattoos, metal, purple hair, fat bodies, skinny bodies, tall and short.

Its not what you see on the outside, its what on the inside of a person that really counts.

If your dad never told you this, please remember it from me, john.

I don’t know men like this. My dad and husband get annoyed with what they think is meaningless trivial talk that women carry on about. But, as a general rule they are not trying to avoid women. My husband always wants me along with him to workplace parties, racing (his hobby), when he decided too take golf lessons, he asked me to doit with him. My father also would rather be included and include everyone. In terms of parties and social events I don’t think they really pay attention to gender, it is more about being interested in whomever is in the room. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure they notice a beautiful woman, maybe a little flirt at times, but basically conversation is with both women and men.

Some families and/or cultures the genders tend to separate when there are several people ina room. Women in the kitchen, men in the living room. Men watching sports, women talking recipes and children, but my family was never like that.

@john65pennington I love your answer

@Ivy Do you have any brothers?

In my experience the difference has been the men who genuinely enjoy the company of women are friends with their women as well as lovers and these men enjoy to do things with their women aside from sex, they just don’t go through the motions for partnership’s sake. Same with family and platonic friends (sans sex), the men really enjoy things like taking drives, picnics, visiting with friends (often mutual friends).

My stepfather absolutely loved the company of women. He was an engaging conversationalist and expected you to hold up your end of the conversation. It was a wonderful experience! He was a symphony and opera conductor and had a diversity of interactions with some very strong women (e.g., Beverly Sills and other sopranos can often hold their own on many erudite subjects).

An understanding of women.

@JLeslie One brother who has unofficially been diagnosed a sociopath. All of his relationships have been catastrophic.

@john65pennington Thank you.

@john65pennington

John, you and your wife sound a lot like me and my wife. Vicky and I never got to meet each other until I was 64 and she was 49, but we well understand that beauty fades and youth passes away, but a kind and loving heart lasts forever.

Wow.

I believe it is most immediately seen in the way they speak of women generally, and specifically of their conquests versus their great loves. It has always been my opinion that men who speak disrespectfully of women in general—those men who constantly talk about their sex lives with other men—are not very successful with women (or other men, as the case may be), which is as it should be. I’ve always seen this as a way for them to cover their emotional and sexual inadequacies and it is uncomfortable to be around as it seems to me they are more interested in what other men think of them rather than exhibiting a genuine interest in women.

Men with a higher EQ enjoy the company of women more than men with a lower EQ in my experience.

Matt….do you have a speech impediment? What is an ‘EQ’?
I think that a man’s honest pleasure in relating to women depends a lot on the societal norms. 50 years ago it was accepted that women aren’t as smart as men. That’s not true, of course, but when it was widely accepted you can only assume that a woman’s contribution to anything doesn’t have the same value as a man’s contribution. It’s hard to take pleasure in the company of someone who you deem inferior.
I’ll bet most Iraqi – born men don’t take pleasure in the intellectual company of women.

I meant this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_quotient

Ah! I knew there was something logical in there!

Can’t help it I guess ;-)

Please forgive me…

It’s easy for me to wax poetic about women. Don’t get me started, I might not be able to stop. Everything I can think of to say about women is probably a bit insulting to men.

I will say one thing. I prefer the more cooperative and consultative management style that women are known for. I prefer to work with women. I prefer talking to women. Maybe because I feel safer opening up to them. Men, in my experience, have difficulty talking about softer emotions, and there is usually this competitive thing going on that doesn’t happen as much between men and women.

@wundayatta :)