We get a lot of questions here about cheating, and there are all different kinds of answers, too. I think that what happens is that people start looking at things with a very powerful microscope and they stop seeing the point of the relationship. It becomes all about who gets over on whom and who gives up more of themselves and who is taken advantage of.
What people need is a little maturity and a willingness to hold back from judgment, to gather more information, and, mainly, to talk. Yes. Talk. As in communication. With your bf.
What are you main concerns here? DO you think he’s playing you? Or are you afraid of putting emotional energy into the relationship and then having the rug pulled out from underneath you? Figure that out, first.
Then talk to him. If you can’t talk to him about this, then the relationship is headed nowhere. You can’t have a relationship if you can’t communicate. It takes a great deal of maturity and fearlessness to talk about things like this, but if you can’t do it, they he’s not the only one playing around.
There’s over emotional cheating, and there’s the subtle kind that most people can’t see because they don’t look at themselves, and they don’t acknowledge their own responsibility for what is happening. Instead, they play the blame game and think the problem is everyone but themselves.
Well, if you can’t discuss this with him because you can’t bring yourself to do it, then, if you want to have a decent relationship, ever, you have to learn to talk. If you can’t talk to him because you raise the issue and he won’t listen, or won’t respond, then that’s important information. Do you want to have a bf who won’t talk to you? I don’t know. Maybe he’s so hot and such a catch that you don’t care, but I think you probably want a guy you can talk to, especially when you are afraid.
You might think this is about cheating, but the fact that you felt you had to come to strangers on some website to get endorsement of your feelings is a much more serious problem. You may think the definition of cheating is the problem, but that problem pales in comparison to the issue of communication. If you can’t fix that, your relationship isn’t going anywhere whether or not he is cheating.