Having no friends in the first place, there’s little danger of being invited to the party.
Since the people I know don’t party much anyway, there aren’t that many parties I have to avoid.
If invited, the invitation would be lost in the mail.
If the mail got here, then it would be too late.
If I got the mail in time, then there’d be a problem with the date or time on the invite.
If I got the invitation in time, and an invitation to the right place and time, and showed up, they wouldn’t let me in.
If they let me in, then I’d just have to start drinking heavily. Or join @thekoukoureport behind the bar and serve others while I could still stand.
It seems to me that I’ve answered this question before.