why do I stay? I ask myself that often. At times I worry that I stay because I want to be needed. My “who the hell knows what’s wrong with him but he sure is crazy” boyfriend has had severe psychosis, major depression, suicidal ideation, cuts himself etc. He has tried to convince me to kill myself with him, he is manipulative and can be cruel at times. He has broken up with me more times than I can count and I have, and always will take him back because I love him.
When he’s good, he’s great, best relationship I’ve ever had. When he’s bad, its really difficult, I would never let someone use mental illness as an excuse for anything they do to me, but I do give him some leeway in that sense. When he says nasty things, or actively tries to find someone new, I remind myself how amazing he is when he’s stable, which is most of the time.
A lot of people would argue that I should’ve left him a long time ago… Luckily for him, I see enough good in him to stick around. That’s why I stay.