Sounds like when you have, as you say, “disagreements,” about anything and they get out of hand, you may be using that time as an opportunity to resolve too many things that have built up.
You know how you have an argument about him not putting the toilet seat down but it really isn’t about that at all. It may be because you feel you don’t get enough help around the house with the toddler and other chores. Little things build up and become big things that have no relation to the straw that breaks the camel’s back and creates the big fight. That is just an example.
I’d suggest you tell your husband how much you love him and your life but that there is something you’d like to talk to him about – here is the important thing – when he has a chance and feels like really listening to your concerns.
Explain what you just said here. That you don’t like arguing over the stupidiest things and you need to pick one a day every 10 days or so where you both have a special time to talk out those “stupid things.” Re-enforce that you aren’t bitching or whining, make it light hearted and explain it may be hormones, but that you need this from him. Make it a candle lit discussion time with a bottle of wine after the baby has gone to bed.
Men’s minds work differently than women’s minds for the most part. You might say, “Did you hear what the baby just said?” And instead of seeing the cute expression you wanted to share, he thinks you are accusing him of not being attentive enough. Who knows what goes inside those brains when they aren’t belching or scratching. They are wonderful creatures though and you know how to push his buttons better than anyone, for your benefit if you know what I mean.
Every relationship, especially when you are young with so many responsiilities and financial things going on in your lives has some ups and downs. It always levels out and the good out numbers the bad. I promise.
I hope you find some peace in your heart. Best wishes.