I third @wundayatta‘s answer, well said honey and GA <hugs> xx
You can cope on your own honey if you have someone close to help when you are starting on a “down”, in my case sometimes hubby will see it before I’m even aware its started. He’ll tell me that I need to take things a bit easier, chill a bit (which has turned into a sort of code for us I think) and I get the best hugs, on tap :-) Seriously though, I wouldn’t cope if it wasn’t for him, I’m sure of that.
To answer your question though, suicidal thoughts are really a very, very extreme place honey and clinical depression takes so many different forms. Technically (someone help here please, I’m only going on what a nurse told me years ago) I was told that your depression is considered to be “clinical” if it lasts more than several weeks, and that you (a) are not/having trouble sleeping and (b) taking no pleasure in things which would have made you feel happy normally. As I said it was quite a while ago but I’m pretty sure that was how she put it. In other words, a bit more than feeling “a weeny bit glum” and lasting longer than it should. You do not have to feel suicidal in order to have clinical depression sweetheart, and thank God for that, or people might not get the help they need in time for it to do any good. Can you find someone you trust to talk to honey? what about your Dr? they keep things confidential (it comes with the job) but they have so many resources available to call on that can really help.
hugs xx