I interviewed for a fabulous job this past Tuesday. I found out Thursday that I didn’t get it. Tears, sadness, etc. Rent’s due. When I heard the “I’m so sorry, but we felt someone else was more in line with our needs” voicemail, I happened to be outside. I started crying in the street. You should’ve seen how fast my fellow New Yorkers can scatter.
I called my sister G in Florida this morning to just get the bad feelings out of my system so that I can be clear enough to figure out what my next step should be. She comforted me and said to call her tomorrow.
10 minutes later, she called me back and let me know that she, along with two of my other sisters, C and K, are pitching in the money to pay my March rent. I am relieved beyond relief.
I hate asking people for things. And I didn’t ask her for anything. I just wanted to cry and be heard. I never want to be a burden to anyone; I want to pay my own way through life. This is the absolute worst I’ve ever had it as an adult. I have always been able to get and keep a job. I don’t know what the problem is now, but I’m doing my best to see what old ways of doing things needs to change. It’s been a real struggle.
But to know that people like G, C and K who are my sisters by virtue of their mother being my mom; a woman who saw some years back that I was a young person who had had no real mother. She made herself my mother. I can l only imagine that if she were alive, this is what she would want to see happening between us.
I want so much to be able to repay them for this. I can’t yet, but I will somehow, and soon enough, I hope.