I’ll start with, the Jelly below has red hair

Good one! I’m racing @JustJessica right now… Edit – I guess she gave up to let me answer :D

The jelly below me is a superhero.

False, but I am wearing a Superman shirt right now. :)

The jelly below me enjoys being a parent.

Nope…at least not yet.
The jelly below me just got some sex…..

Does it have to be just now or does this morning count?

The jelly below me loves cats.

True.

The jelly below me is ALIVE!

True.

The jelly below me has a flowery avatar.

True!! – The jelly below me shoveled snow this morning.

The jelly below me owes me money and chocolate
@Blueroses-Not yet,but I will :)

Hey—I paid you already!
The jelly below me can see snow out his/her window.

False, but I sure wish I could!

The jelly below me can see my birth year after my name.

Yes, and guess what? You’re my exact same age.
The jelly below me SHOULD be doing work on his/her computer instead of messing on Fluther.

False… I rarely do “work” on my computer.

The jelly below me has a secret and wishes they could tell someone, but doesn’t know who to tell.

False! (I tell everybody everything..) well, there are a few Christmas secrets pending!

The Jelly below me loves coffee and dogs.

I do. I do. But the coffee is decaf.

The jelly below me is a word junkie.

Kind of. Not really.

The jelly below me has a cold. I do. Mlech.

True, dat! Hardly slept last night, too.
The jelly below me bites their nails.

Nope. But I do crack my knuckles.
(Hope you feel better fast @wundayatta)

The jelly below me is waiting till the last minute to holiday shop.

True! I am waiting until the last minute, only because that’s when my hubby gets paid. fun times shopping on Christmas Eve :P

The jelly below me is not ashamed to say they like Taylor Swift.

False, I am ashamed to like country lol (edit: for the record I like all music, but I do hold my preferences which are polar opposites to country.)
The jelly below me is as excited as I am about TRON: Legacy. =)

I’m not excited at all about Tron. I’m very excited about seeing Burlesque tonight though!

The jelly below me has to work over the weekend.

False. This jelly ain’t got no job, girl!

The jelly below me has tried on undergarments of the opposite sex.

Not quite, although I have worn over garments of the opposite sex, but I still couldn’t hitch a ride.

The jelly below me has slept with Paris Hilton.

Fals… well… Ya know. ;)

The jelly below me hates cookies.

True. Well, hate is a bit strong…

The jelly below me can rebuild a car engine.

Not by myself, but I did help an ex boyfriend and his roommate totally rebuild a 65 Mustang.

The jelly below me is eating lunch while fluthering.

Grilled ham and swiss on rye and an orangina. Just picked it up.
The jelly below me needs to do some vacuuming.

Yes and it sucks The jelly below me is wearing no pants!! :O

@wundayatta : Damn. I need a better cover for my webcam.
The jelly below is muchly lurved here

Crap. Just missed it.

False, unless self-love is given disproportionate consideration.

The jelly below me is going to be celebrating Festivus this year.

False, I had to look up “Festivus” and I don’t think I am any the wiser for it!
The jelly below me absolutely loves fruit cake.

False. I believe that fruitcake was designed by an evil scientist as a preservation experiment gone horribly wrong.

The jelly below me has can’t hidden in their house.

Candy!!! Candy hidden in their house. Curse you auto-correct!

True, and I got a lot more stuff hidden everywhere…booze, bacon, hobos, drugs, porn.

The Jelly below me is a ninja.

I think this might be partly true. Apparently, I walk very quietly because I am always accidentally sneaking up on people and scaring the crap out of them. I really don’t mean to!

It’s really awful when I’m waiting on some old ladies. I mean, I’m not trying to scare any old ladies; for one, that’s mean! And then, two, what if I give someone a heart attack?

Anyway.

The jelly below me has a burning, secret Fluther crush.

True.
The jelly below me has sexual fantasies he’s ashamed of.

She. False. I’m not the least bit ashamed of my adventurous side.

The jelly below me is a cat person.

True. I also like sharks.

The jelly below me belongs to a secret underground society.

True.

The jelly below me is contemplating how to get out of a family function.

True. I am secretly wishing for a major snowstorm for Christmas Eve so we don’t have to travel an hour away. We are known for getting out of family functions, so when my husband poked his eye putting the lights on the tree several years ago, and had to go to the hospital, no one believed us until they saw him with a patch on his eye. They thought we were lying. lol

The jelly below me has never peed in the woods.

True, I think…there was this one time when I was really young and we were on a road trip and we stopped off in the woods so someone could pee, but I don’t remember if it was me or not. So, I guess this is a maybe?

The jelly below me wishes that s/he could have some schnapps right now…. :P

True! But I have to work instead. :(

The jelly below me is wearing pink!

True, I am actually wearing quite a bit of pink. Which I am suddenly embarrassed to admit so publicly.

The jelly below me wants to go out to lunch with me.

Absolutely, without a doubt. I’ll even buy.

The Jelly below me is dressed oddly because of some kind of laundry crisis.

I’m wearing pink jammie pants with teapots on them, a gray flannel and a black pair of socks with red and green gnomes on them. Yes, it’s weird, but not because of laundry. It’s just my jammies.

The jelly below me loves football.

I absolutely love football especially Pro football. Especially the Seahawks, Eagles and Redskins.

The jelly below me loves to be outdoors.

Yes I do whether it be running, walking, camping or hiking. And the weather being overcast is always preferable to me rather than sunny days.

The jelly below me loves music of all kinds and sings in the shower.

True, and I’ve been known to kill small animals with my voice.

The jelly below me is in love with someone.

False, unfortunately.

The jelly below me loves snow!

I do! I eat it, throw it, jump in it, stare at it, wish for it, you name it.

The jelly below me is a member of the Polar Bear Club.

True, but unofficially and unwillingly. I had to go into ice water to save a stupid dog that saw a tennis ball on the ice.

The Jelly below me can’t reach stuff easily.

Yeah. The cabinet above the fridge is where all the plastic containers are, and I have to get a little chair to stand on. Keep meaning to move them somewhere more convenient, since my daughter has the same problem.

The jelly below me adores avocados

Only in guacamole. Other than that, icky! I think the part that bothers me is the texture….
The jelly below me secretly fears the impending zombie apocalypse.

Secretly fears? I secretly welcome it!

The jelly below me has been to Disney World at least 10 times.

The Jelly above me did not read the rules ;) ~

The jelly below me often pretends to be listening in conversation but is daydreaming instead..

True! Unfortunately… Or I’m thinking (deeply) about something the person said 5 minutes ago and am not focusing on what they’re saying now.

The jelly below me sings the harmony parts to songs on the radio.

Embarrassingly true. The acoustics in my car are fabulous!

The Jelly below me wears a goofy (not fashionable or flattering) warm hat during cold weather.

False-ish. I wear ear sleeves which are like earmuffs with no band.

The jelly below me loves to ice skate.

False. I am a terrible ice skater, although I love to rollerskate. How does it work with no band??

The jelly below me considers red to be their favorite color.

False. I like aqua.

The jelly below me is married.

True! Very happily married!

The jelly below me doodles while thinking.

For sure.

The Jelly below me loves 80’s music.

@Blueroses I hate to tell you but ear sleeves definitely count as “not fashionable or flattering” head wear.

False. 60s and 70s music is my thing!

The Jelly below me is a stickler for good grammar and writing.

Absolutely true and definitely evident in my Fluther contributions.

The Jelly below me is a good cook and enjoys all kinds of different cuisines.

True to both.

The Jelly below me is a pessimist.

False, I don’t have time to be a pessimist. I’m too busy in HappyLand!

The jelly below me hate their feet to be touched.

Wow, right on the money! No mani-pedis for this girl!

The Jelly below me wishes s/he could get eggnog all year long.

True… although I don’t like to admit it. It’s so bad, but so good!

The Jelly below me is craving something delicious.

You betcha and it’s CHEESE!
The Jelly below me licks cookies to see if they taste good and if he/she doesn’t like them, puts them back onto the plate.

Eewww, FALSE. Although my husband’s grandmother might do that…

The jelly below me has vacuumed naked.

Vacuumed and lots of other things naked too.

The jelly below me can’t sing a note.

True. I can headbang pretty good though.

The jelly below loves energy drinks.

Ew I can’t stand energy drinks but my brother loves them.
The jelly below me is awaiting visitors.

And she just arrived!

The jelly below me made someone’s day today.

False. Couldn’t be further from the truth. Sad to say.

The jelly below me wanted to be an astronaut when they were a kid.

False. I still don’t believe man landed on the moon.
The jelly below me sings loudly in their car with the radio.

False. You do not want to hear me sing. I just can’t do it. Don’t like it. Remember Cameron Diaz in My Best Friend’s Wedding? Yeah, she sings better than me.

The jelly below me believes in ghosts.

Yes that is 100% true.
The jelly below me loves jello.

@daytonamisticrip – as long as it isn’t yellow.

The jelly below me can wiggle her ears.

False

The jelly below me is staying in and enjoying a Friday night at home

I’m in, but I’m sick. Not enjoying it.

The jelly below me is a candy freak.

True, absolute fiend.

The jelly below me hates christmas music

False! Unless you’re talking about the strangely evolved versions of the good Christmas carols. I like the real stuff.

The jelly below me likes being called a jelly. I didn’t at first.

True, because only another Flutherite would understand the meaning.

The jelly below me is not from the US.

False. I live in Ohio.

The jelly below me has brown eyes.

How did you know?

The jelly below me has a secret crush on another jelly

If my wife is a jelly, i don’t know that she is, so I might have a crush on a secret jelly, but I’m leaning toward false on that one.

TJBM will know what the acronym at the start of this sentence stands for.

The Jelly Below Me, so I guess it is true

The Jelly below me is having a hard time thinking up a question that has not been asked already

True. There pressure is mounting. :-)

The jelly below owns at least one Christmas sweater.

False.The jelly below me can yodel.

Sure, why not? I doubt anyone wants to hear it, though.

The jelly below (I keep typing “blow” :\) me has an interesting middle name.

Nope- it is so boring I wanted to change it as a kid.

The jelly below me is not wearing shoes.

No shoes for this jelly (just comfy socks)

The jelly below me thinks this game could go on forever

True, it could go on forever although I thought I killed the game earlier lol.

The jelly below me loves horror movies.

False. Cant stand their repetitive nature.

The jelly below me is an audiophile

Sure, why not? I’m a media production major, and I edit a lot of audio. :)

The Jelly below me has a problem with almonds in their chocolate.

True and that’s only because I can’t eat the chocolate itself being that I’m a diabetic. (I love Blue Diamond Smokehouse Almonds, though.)

The Jelly below me has seen a U.F.O. at one time or another.

Take me to your leader..

Um, nope.

The jelly below me has a high pain tolerance.

True. I had 4 stitches without numbing once. I just mentally went somewhere else. It was not as bad as I thought it would be really.

The Jelly below me would rather be alone than in a crowd.

True. I hate crowds. They’re loud, ugh!

The jelly below me can ride a unicycle.

False—I have difficulty keeping an automobile upright.
The jelly below me once had to have a gerbil surgically removed from his rectum.

Oh my gosh!!! GERBILING!!! No.

The jelly below me just got back from a bar.

No, but I’m drunker than most people who are.

The jelly below me witnessed a murder.

No, but I have had several friends and acquaintances murdered. Unless real video feed of executions count.

The Jelly below me had a movie night with pizza this past night.

Almost! It was a movie night with wine and Chinese food. :)

The jelly below me has an awesome vacation coming up.

I have days off coming up. It’s not really a vacation, but you’re right, it’s awesome.

The jelly below me is a ninja.

False, although this jelly was once a pole dancer at the Throwing Star lounge. :-D

The jellyfish is not the favorite sea creature of TJBM.

True, the blue whale is my favourite sea creature.

The jelly below me watched a film last night.

Falso.. but I did catch up on a few of my TV shows, including my weekly getting-to-stare-at-Anna-Torv-all-googly-eyed fix.

The jelly below me has shoplifted.

Yes, but it was accidental.
I forgot about the pruning shears that were in the under-cart bed when I checked out. I miss the good old days of Fedco.

TJBM is in an alley speaking to Shakespeare, with his pointed shoes and his bells, about a French woman who says she knows that jelly well.

Huh? Sure, why not. Sounds a bit shady, actually.

TJBM needs to get off Fluther and go to the bathroom.

Close- TJBY needs to get off Fluther and go to bed.

The sight of the being in my avatar freezes the heart of TJBM with mild apathy.

it;s not apathy it’s pitty

TJBM wishes their SO were in the mood…...

.

True! >=/

The jelly below me is a hacker.

@Brian1946 I’ve tried and tried, and I can’t figure out what TJBY stands for. The Jelly Below _______

Thank you, it is nice to be reconized for true qualities.

TJBM has a secret they have never told their SO

False.

@ChocolateReigns

TJBY=The Jelly Below You. :-)

TJBM believes that Stradivarius is responsible most of the violence in the world, not guns. ;-)

False. Although I do believe you could fashion one of his violins into a weapon and then still blame all the violence on him anyway.

TJBM enjoys novels comprised of classic literature such as War and Peace, Great Expectations, and The Grapes of Wrath, for example.

False. Sadly, I don’t. I couldn’t finish The Grapes of Wrath. Give me Koontz or King and I won’t be able to put the book down. ;)

The jelly below me wishes they were sitting on Santa’s lap right now.

Well, yes, I’m sure it would be warmer and yes, more fun than my cold little house! But my little Leg Lamp light string is lit and Christmas Story is on, so it’s all good. Now I need some Ovaltine!

TJBM has never eaten lutefisk.

I don’t even know what that is.

TJBM doesn’t like acronyms.

Ummm… I’m okay with acronyms but I don’t always use them.

The jelly below me would like to come share my spiced egg nog.

True- if it is spiked.

TJBM once rode the back of an exotic animal.

Well, he thought he was.~
TJBM is cuddling with their S/O and fluthering at the same time.

Nope, unfortunately.
TJBM has a tattoo of something super nifty.

Not yet, but the thought is in the works!

TJBM has flown in a hot air balloon.

No way! I’m afraid of heights.

TJBM has broken someone’s heart.

Not on purpose, I promise! I wish I’d made it in time for the tattoo one.

TJBM has a secret admirer.

actually TJBY wants to know more about that tattoo (not an official answer-it isn’t my turn)

Even If I have a secret admirer, how would I know whether that was true or false, since it would be a secret?
However, given my flirt quotient of about zero and my usually ignorable posts, I’ll go with false.

TJBM was born on a mountain top in Tennessee and killed her first bear when she were only 3.

Umm….I’m pretty normal…..Born in Minnesota, lived in the same house all my life, and I don’t care for hunting, so…I’d say…..False.

TJBM likes the weather where they are at the moment.

@psychocandy Lutefisk is fish soaked in lye. It’s very Swedish.

It’s also very icky

And it smells.

y’all are making me ill. Just when I was feeling better

True- we’ll be getting rain for a week straight and I love it!

TJBM has never seen a jello fish or a peanut butter fish.

Lye. That’s corrosive, no? Yikes.

False. I have visited the wilds outside of Willy Wonka’s factory. The seas are filled with jello and peanut butter fish as well as fudgy whales and peppermint seals. The woods are filled with actual gummi bears.

TJBM is an avid reader of urban fantasy.

False. I am an avid liver of urban fantasy. (not the organ kind)

TJBM had a favorite member of New Kids on the Block.

Oh, noos. You got me. Joey.

TJBM is American.

True, although I was born in Toronto, Canada.

TJBM knows on what basis the Perfecto Fish award is given.

I actually think I do, but I’m not telling. And I don’t have one yet, because my standards are also impossibly high. And I’m lazy.

TJBM watched The Wizard of OZ tonight.

Nope! Watching Madascar instead!

TJBM is going to wrap his/her presents in Superman wrapping paper!

LOL! No way, but I have been known to use the Cartoon pages.

TJBM Speaks at least 1 foreign language fluently.

Un petit peu seulement.

The jelly below me collects a few things.

True! I collect ties, decks of playing cards, pins and dice. :)

TJBM has met a well-known celebrity.

True. The first time was when I met Elvis in December, 1956.
When one has been living in the Los Angeles area for over 55 years, it’s bound to happen.

TJBM has had at least one white Xmas in their life.

True

TJBM plans to live forever, and so far they have.

True, but then time does not exist

TJBM has had a deodorant failure at an inopportune moment.

Nothing’s coming to mind, but I’ve probably repressed those memories.
TJBM secretly dresses up their cat.

False, although I’d love to see a cat in a Superman costume, including the cape.

TJBM has given this excellent OP the lurve that it desurves! ;-p

True. I would have given more if it were an option, this was lots of fun.

TJBM’s last meal was vegetarian.

False. Not at all. I had chili with beef from the farm my husband works at. It was delicious! Will be having bacon and eggs in the morning. booyah!

TJBM loves to sing along to Mr. Hankey’s Christmas classics at Christmas time.

I cannot tell a lie – I do! I do! (Who the hell is Mr. Hankey?)

The Jelly below me is wearing their underpants on backwards.

False. I’m not wearing any underpants at all. There is a time and place for everything. Right now is the time to Fluther naked.

TJBM loves amusement parks and visits one at least once a year.

I have an annual pass to Disneyland. Need I say more?

TJBM has more music than they could possibly listen to.

True! I own some music that I mean to listen to, but never actually have yet. Which is a shame, but I will totally get around to it!
TJBM steals pens and other items when they go to places like the doctor’s office/hotels, etc. Is it stealing, actually? They set them out there all by themselves, so lonely…. :/

False- I used to wait tables and people used to walk off with my pens so I try to make an effort to not clip them.

TJBM Hates wrapping Christmas gifts.

False. I hate for my beautifully wrapped gifts to be torn open:-)

TJBM drives a SUV.

False – Subaru Outback

TJBM always has the checkbook balanced.

Well, I’m 14 so I don’t have a checkbook…

TJBM likes txtspk.

True, actually. I use txtspk all the time, particularly when texting. However, I don’t like that it seems to have taken over any real ability to spell/write among a large portion of younger people.

TJBM is in a room with brown or tan walls.

False, what’s left of the walls (after the repairman yanked a lot of the dry wall out due to a major plumbing leak) are off-white.

The Jelly Below Me has textural issues with certain foods.

Oh, yes. I hate anything gelatinous.

TJBM has a phobia.

Far too many to list!

The Jelly below me is a vegetarian.

No, though I am considering it. I think it’s harder for those who have grown up with meat to commit to this, sometimes, than it is for those who only had it occasionally. But that’s debatable, of course.
TJBM likes raspberry jelly on fresh biscuits.

True!

TJBM prefers dogs over cats. (Is this self-promotional?~)

Yes, it is and yes, I do, but not by a wide margin.

TJBM reads a lot of Science Fiction but not Fantasy.

False. I don’t care to read much fiction at all. Science fiction and fantasy would be at the bottom of my list of things to read.

TJBM has all of their holiday shopping done.

Si senorita.
I’ll be giving my bro his Target gift card in about an hour or two.

TJBM has done the wild thang with at least one other jelly.

True. That’s an easy one. teehee

TJBM makes a mean pot brownie.

Almost- this jelly would love to eat a mean pot brownie. :-p

TJBM has been in the presence of weed.

Is it that obvious? ;)

TJBM Loves looking at Christmas tree lights but hates putting them up.

That’s absolutely true. Not only the tree lights but the house lights too and the decorations, whatever they might amount to. Taking them down is a real drag also.

TJBM has had nightmares about mythological creatures at least once in their life.

Does Freddy Krueger count?

TJBM has never been outside of North America.

False! I’ve been to Canada and Peru.
TJBM is a serious Lost fan.

I haven’t seen one episode.

TJBM’s favorite favorite candy bar is Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Well, cups, not a bar.

False. I hate Reese’s. I don’t like anything that combines peanut butter & chocolate.

TJBM has always wanted to go bungee jumping.

True. I’m terrified of heights so nothing gives me a bigger thrill than challenging the fear!

TJBM wishes Taco Bell had free delivery.

YES!

(some call it poop in a diaper, though).

The jelly bellow me isn’t feeling the Christmas spirit.

@TheOnlyNeffie How can you possibly not like Reese’s?! They’re heavenly :)

@ChocolateReigns you aren’t the first one to be shocked by this. Most people think I’m crazy.. they are really popular candies. I like peanut butter, and I like chocolate, but I don’t like them together. Reese’s are just not my thing.

True, just waiting for the holidays to be over.
The jelly below me is fluthering while working.

Guilty as charged. Don’t tell anyone, okay? =)

TJBM has never divulged private information in a Facebook posting.

True. TJBY has never even had a Facebook account.

TJBM has already moved on to the next thing after Facebook: MinDisk.

Damn, I haven’t even figured out FB yet! So, no

TJBM is all excited waiting for Dr J to re-don his holiday togs!

True!

For TJBM, sometimes, when it’s yellow, they let it mellow.

@Jude I love that saying but no, I don’t. I always flush because I am worried that I will forget all about it and a visitor will come and…. oh look, another of my irrational fears!

TJBM has gained someone’s trust recently.

The Jelly below me prefers PBS over Fox.

True!!

The Jelly below me has whipped up a full Christmas feast for a rather large group of peeps.

God, no! I just did that for Thanksgiving. Mac and cheese for Christmas dinner with a couple of friends, what better time for comfort food?

TJBM is wishing for a few flakes of snow Friday evening, purely for the aesthetic effect (no danger factor!)

False… Snow is cold. I will have a fire in the fireplace though!

TJBM Is holding Jellyclaus hostage to get all the Jelly presents for themself.

<quickly hides the duct tape behind her back> What? That’s absurd.

TJBM always shakes presents and tries to guess what’s inside before opening.

True! I actually did that last night, and found out that the card from my uncle has a gift card inside of it. Since I’m at home with the parents now, I have to sneak behind their backs….for some reason, they don’t like me trying to shake and guess what’s inside my gifts beforehand. I don’t know why….
TJBM is giving someone a gift basket filled with homemade goodies this year.

Negative. No time for that sort of thing

TJBM has some totally bitchin plans for new years

True (heading to Savannah!)

TJBM is double jointed.

False, I wish!
TJBM has piercings in places I can’t see.

My left nipply is pierced :P

TJBM dislikes social network sites.

True. Facebook freaks me out.

TJBM Will be drinking at their family Christmas celebration.

False – I don’t celebrate Christmas, nor do I drink much.
TJBM can’t stop thinking about oral sex.

True!

TJBM plans on checking out the Sky-High Lunar Eclipse on the 20/21st?

(according to the g/f: “This eclipse is on the same day as the winter solstice and apparently that hasn’t happened in 456 years and when it does you’re supposed to light fires, get drunk and dance around naked (to start with)”).

True, I had planned to check out the eclipse. I hadn’t heard about the rest of it, but now it’s a done deal. Ha.

TJBM loves orange tic-tacs.

False! Those are icky!

The Jelly below me has ice skated on a frozen lake/pond.

False. Even though I played ice hockey for a good part of my life, never did make it out to a frozen lake.

TJBM likes vidja games

True! Some more than others, though. I tend to really suck at shooting games because I’m like a lobotomized monkey with the controller. Why do they have to make the controller so f-ing complicated?

@Jude – See why I’m Pagan? We know how to have the right kinds of fun.

TJBM is a rebel.

Oh yeah, I’m a rebel…against the machine…actually, against sex machines – those things are way expensive.
TJBM wishes they were more adventurous.

Nope. Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt. I like it simpler, now.

TJBM loves crosswords.

I do. I do. I have an iPhone app and everything.

TJBM is a Mac.

Yes I am! I have pretty much every Mac toy.

TJBM is going to have an awesome day and they know it!

False, but here’s hoping tomorrow is better!

TJBM hates bacon.

True. I wouldn’t say I hate it, but I don’t particularly like it and I don’t at all understand the obsession or why everything has to have bacon on it. It’s so freaking salty and that’s all I taste, really, unless you get an especially good smoked kind. But even then, it’s like eating chewy-crispy, smoky, SALT. I could take it or leave it.

TJBM has made out with someone at a wedding.

True, only because I’m always making out with somebody somewhere. Okay, it’s not that bad but I probably made out at every wedding I’ve been to..c’mon, it’s a wedding!

TJBM likes to be kissed on the neck.

True! It’s one of my favorite places to be kissed. Gives me wonderful shivers and make me let out a slight gasp (when unexpected).

TJBM is a sucker for pretty eyes.

Sort of true :) This one guy (I guess he’s pretty much my boyfriend. It’s complicated) I know has the most amazing eyes…They’re this shade of light green that I’ve never seen before.

True- his eyes are that shade of light green. ;-)

TJBM has never swam in one of the Great Lakes.

True, which is strange, because I am only about 45 minutes from Erie.

TJBM would love a back massage right about now.

Hell yes! I mean,that would be lovely
TJBM loves to fly :)

I love flying. Flying in planes. Flying in dreams. Flying 10 feet in the air of a swing.
TJBM is scared of heights.

Damn straight! I’d rather swim to Europe than fly!

TJBM has a pair of night vision goggles!

You saw me outside your window last night, didn’t you…

The jelly below me knows how to make cake balls.

Well, I didn’t come with any of my own….

TJBM love flavored Chapstick.

It depends on the flavor. I used to really like the candy flavored ones, but they did basically nothing to moisturize my lips. Now I use Carmex, it’s much more effective.
TJBM knows a second language.

True. If you add how much French I remember (I used to be fluent) with how much Italian I know, the sum would be about 1.2 languages. Roughly.

TJGM has done something, while drunk, that they regretted later.

True. I’ve done many somethings while drunk I later regretted. not telling :P

TJBM only eats the vanilla and chocolate from a carton of Neopolitan ice cream.

It’s creepy that you know that. Really, really creepy.

TJBM likes their high school reunions.

False. Well, to be honest, I haven’t been to one yet. But I don’t think I’d enjoy it that much. High school is a time I try to forget about.

TJBM has traveled to a foreign country in the last two years.

False.
TJBM is staying up to see the lunar eclipse.

True!

TJBM has mooned someone.

So true and it was always worth it.Hell, I’m mooning you all right now, :)
TJBM wishes they were not so hairy.

True, shaving is such a pain in the face

TJBM is kinkier than they will admit, even to themselves.

Nah, I know exactly how kinky I am – very – and I’m perfectly okay with that. I also make no real effort to hide it.. in fact, I was minding my own business and making an Amazon wishlist for myself, for a couple of years. On the list were things I wanted to buy later, including a hell of a lot of books about sex. Some of them are somewhat dry, like Sex and Sexuality in Early America and Sex among the Rabble: An Intimate History of Gender and Power in the Age of Revolution, Philadelphia, 1730–1830.

However, some others are more colorful…

- Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition: English Sea Rovers in the Seventeenth-Cen​tury Caribbean, Second Edition (what? doesn’t that sound interesting?)

- Wet: True Lesbian Sex Stories

- The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance

- Fetish: Masterpieces of Erotic Fantasy Photography

- Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

- Sex Tips from a Dominatrix

My mom was bored one winter and found my wishlist on Amazon. I was a bit mortified knowing what all she probably saw on there. I mean, MY MOM, you know? But she tactfully bought around these things and has never said a word.

.

TJBM has eaten something most other people would find truly disgusting.

True I love pickled eggs

Woah, MissAnthrope, you dirty bitch. ;-)

TJBM likes to be tied up.

True but also enjoy the other way around :P

TJBM hates their job

False. I have the best job in the world!

TJBM seems tough, but is really quite the teddy bear.

False! I’m made of ice and cactus spines ;)

TJBM doesn’t mind if a dog licks his/her face.

I mind very much. Allergic :(

TJBM saw the awesome eclipse

No, it clouded over. Damn.

The TJBM gets up early every day whethers/he wants to or not.

True. My internal alarm clock has no sense of decency. I almost always wake up, on work days and days off, before my alarm clock radio sounds. It’s kind of weird.

TJBM isn’t impressed by the increasing trend of making so many new movies in the 3-D format.

SO TRUE. If the story can’t hold up in plain old, 2-D format, sans high definition and surround sound, then it’s a bad movie.

TJBM is working on Christmas Eve just like this girl right here.

So true- I’ll be working on my appetite on Xmas Eve.

TJBM will celebrate Xmas by making a naked, face-down snow angel!

Uh, no. Probably won’t be enough snow here, anyway.

TJBM has decided to not stress out for the holidays, and let the good stuff wash over him/her.

False. I can’t stop stressing this holiday season.
TJBM has had cosmetic surgery.

False.

TJBM has had a supernatural experience.

^^(I did. Last night)

A couple, actually. Surreal, yet pretty cool.

TJBM has clearly seen at least one comet in her/his lifetime.

True #3

TJBM wants a new car for christmas but will not get it.

.

True and most definitely true

TJBM always wanted to explore space

TRUE, very true.

TJBM is looking forward to dinner

VERY TRUE! I refuse to cook tonight, bwuahahahahaha!

The jelly below me makes fun of the Twillight books, while secretly enjoying them just a little bit.

@WillWorkForChocolate False! I make fun of them and they’re horrid to read. sorry

TJBM can do a split.

Nope – never but I could do somersaults like nobody’s business and climb tall trees in a single bound.

TJBM is wasting time on Fluther at work and wishing s/he were at home.

False. Just wasting time at home wishing I was able to sleep. got to wait for exterminator to finish spraying

TJBM is going to a concert in the next month

False (but, I will be in Feb. – The Decemberists)

TJBM needs to sleep holding onto something or someone.

(@Jude I think that’s the Jelly above me!)

:P i does.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir No need to apologize, love! That’s pretty much the answer I was expecting anyway, lol.

True, I do have to either snuggle with my hubby or wrap my arms around my body pillow.

The jelly below me usually procrastinates with Christmas shopping until Christmas Eve.

Nope, I had most of it done by the week after Thanksgiving. I was too excited to put it off.
The jelly below me has been arrested for being part of a large scale protest.

Ah! Not exactly arrested, but I was nailed with the butt-end of a rifle by a cop at the riot!
TJBM needs a hair cut.

Probably. My hair is down to my shoulders right now…

TJBM is totally going to listen to my bitchin best of 2010 radio show at 10 est tonight
fuck ya shameless plug :P

Maybe! I was totally considering it before I got the air kicked out of me after reading that the fluther team was bought by twitter and only augustlan will run this site…and I have a terrible feeling this is the end of things…

TJBM is more optimistic

@uberbatman Unless I’m out shopping still, I’ll totally listen!

This jelly is not optimistic about that one bit…..
like fuck… really….today is my three year anniversary with fluther too…
TJBM is craving a plate of bacon

False. I hate bacon.

TJBM abhors escargot (it’s like chewing on your lower lip, right??).

Pretty sure I abhor it! But…I’ve never tried it.
TJBM wishes they had a fireplace.

True! Seeing flames makes you automatically warmer.

TJBM has gone on an all-inclusive resort vacation

I have, but it wasn’t fun.

TJBM is tired of the rainy weather.

True – I am tired of hearing about the rainy weather from all my friends inSoCal.

TJBM is frustrated and upset right now.

True. Don’t know what is going to go down here.
TJBM has not shopped for Christmas presents yet.

@janbb Pssbbt!

True (people are getting gift certificates this year and I am picking them up tomorrow)

TJBM has a serious case of heartburn.

Heart ache maybe as I was enjoying blissful ignorance until the panic started.

TJBM is eating Christmas cookies and feeling just the littlest bit guilty about that.

No…she’s eating a breakfast crossount (sp) with ham and cheese and egg, but she’s WISHING it was a Christmas cookie!
TJBM Wishes they had more dogs.

@Dutchess_III True! I wish I had another dog – a mini siberian husky doggy
TJBM likes wearing tight clothing.

Gracious no. I find tight clothes to be un-comfortable on me, and hideously un-appealing on others.

The Jelly below me would like to do some baking for Xmas, but he/she isn’t a very good cook.

Well, yes she is a good cook but she doesn’t like to do it!
TJBM needs to dump all of his/her pictures to disk to free up some computer space!

Freaky – totally true!

TJBM cheated at some point in their life.

True- I took some extra letters from the box when we were playing Scrabble.
IIRC, I took them when my opponents were distracted by something on TV.

TJBM has never swam in a freshwater lake.

Well, I must say that the lakes in Kansas are anything but fresh, but I’ve swam in them!
TJBM got poked in the eye recently! Ow! Simone, if you really got poked in the eye recently, THEN I’ll be freaked out!

Does it count if it was with a dog toy? Then yes. He’s wreaking havok wherever he goes these days!

TJBM just had a sandwich.

False. And I’m starving! Where is bob_ when you need him, huh?

TJBM has been arrested. Probably for something minor.

But, but, it was all a misunderstanding!
TJBM has never been in a car accident.

False. I wrote the best car I ever had off in an accident :(

TJBM has driven through Death Valley.

I wasn’t driving. I was only about 8.

TJBM has never seen the Pacific Ocean.

False.

TJBM thinks that they are kinda cute.

True and I think TJAM is kinda cute too.

TJBM also thinks that TJAM is kinda cute.

True!

TJBM is a total freak in bed.

Alright, who’s telling secrets? There will be consequences for that.

TJBM wants a snowball fight.

Well, all I have is leaves. I can roll them into a ball and duck tape them I guess. WHAM! You’re it!
TJBM has never used a shop vac to clean their floors.

False. I own 3, believe it or not. I use them for everything. I can’t imagine how anyone lives without one.

TJBM can’t wait for summer.

True, I hate winter.
TJBM has never had a massage.

True that!
TJBM has fleas.

Where’s Dog?

No fleas, senorita.

TJBM got to see either The Beatles, Queen or The Rolling Stones perform back in the day.

Would you settle for Bruce Sprngsteen in 1976 in Red Bank, NJ?

TJBM is in her/his pajamas.

TJBY hasn’t worn PJ’s since 1977.

TJBM thinks that starting a new thread would be a good idea if the answer count reaches 300.

False. This jelly is happy for an oasis of positivity on a difficult day.

TJBM would win both showcases on The Price is Right

Oh,dear I have so much absurd and useless crap floating around in my brain I probably would. I’m so ashamed

TJBM is quite handy fixing minor plumbing, electric and various other stuff around the house.

True, except I do most of that stuff at work for z fish tanks. Fun fun….

TJBM cant wait for christmas
so they dont have to deal with this jolly shit for another year….

I…. don’t know how to answer that one!

TJBM is a good friend to me. As is the one above me.

I try to be – and it’s not too hard!

The Jelly Below Me is licking my toes.

False. I am ticklin’ your flippers.

The jelly below me has met another jelly. In the flesh!

Almost- I saw the flesh of a lone jellyfish on the beach in 1964.
Poor thing- that reminds of a song that Richie Havens sang at Woodstock:
♫ “Sometimes I feeeel, like a flutherless child!” ♫

TJBM was at Woodstock in August, 1969, or has seen the movie.

Nah, I wish I could’ve been there though; I wasn’t even thought of yet in 69.

The jelly below me will be snuggling with a warm, purring kitty tonight.

False. I never sleep with the enemy. ~

TJBM had or has a fake ID.

So true! I had a kind of a wild teenage life.
TJBM wears thongs.

False. I don’t wear underwear. Oh… did you mean shoes?? I love flip-flops.

TJBM loves to play poker.

True! All kinds of poker!

The jelly below me wants to help me sneak a cat into Dog’s bed while he’s sleeping.

Dog’s a guy?! Yes, I’m with you on that.

Oh damn, I don’t always pay attention to these things… should I be calling Dog a she? Sorry.

True. Or false. Dunno how to tell.
TJBM likes to sleep nude in the summer.

True, but I sleep nude year round.

The jelly below me has had some sort of cosmetic surgery.

Negative, Im already fucking beautiful :P

TJBM is a nerd in some way or another.

Absolutely. I embrace my nerdiness.

TJBM sniffs his food before he starts to eat.

<———Zuppy here. Nope, I just “wolf” haha it down!

TJBM really likes rope pull toys.

<——Molly does!
TJBM hates snow and wishes they lived in the south.

No…I love snow! I just wish it would! Until it gets to the slushy stage. I don’t like that part.
TJBM can’t figure out how to get the stain out!

I may not know how to get the stain out, but it was fun stainning it.

TJBM Takes their dog to work with them

No, I don’t even have a dog. I’m thinking about getting a puppy sometime within the next few years though. I think it would be really fun.
TJBM watched the original Star Wars movies in theaters.

Ah hell. You nailed me! It was freakin’ AMAZING!
TJBM holds a patent in something….

Almost. I never finished the process. I should find my book with the proto-type pictures.:-)

TJBM wants to write a book.

I’ve actually started a couple but lose my steam when another idea walks by…short attention span, much?

TJBM has been to Fiji.

Fiji?? Shoot. I’ve never been out of the States.
TJBM never wears underwear.

False, I wear a thong. You TWIT, you should already know that about me from Thong Thursday!!

The jelly below me stole the sandwich that I made for Bob.

ROFL!!

@WillWorkForChocolate: I just spit my drink out! I’m still laughing!

Nope, but what kind of sandwich was it…next time, I just might! I love a good sandwich!

TJBM knows how to dance to Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Sorry, it’s on the radio right now. The mental image of the dance popped in my mind.

False. Dancing is not my strong point as it can be dangerous to my partner. ~

(Oh- sneaking a cat into my bed? Ha ha ha! Yes I am indeed a girl dog. Sure Dog sounds kinda boyish but I just couldn’t warm up to the user name “Bitch”~)

TJBM is totally happy tonight because of something that happened today.

True, true, true. I was totally elated to see this question past the 300 mark. As you can see it don’t take much for me. THANK YOU ALL!

TJBM has relationship issues that they don’t know how to resolve.

True-ish. Only with my mother, though!

TJBM is drunk, right this very minute.

Nope. I haven’t been drunk since 2001.

TJBM is hungry.

Nope, I’m tipsy, however. My first ever tipsy Fluther. Moving into the exceptionally charming, silly place.

TJBM had a great Italian dinner tonight.

I wish. I just scrounged up some leftovers from the fridge and nuked them. Ugh.
TJBM’s favorite candy is Twix, and TJBM wants one right now.

I like PB Twix. I only get them at camp, though, so if you could produce an event (long enough that they’d have the canteen open at least once) up at camp (WOOH! Story Book rocks!), so I could get one, that would be awesome. :D

TJBM likes cake. Might even eat the frosty all on its own.

Oh, Frosty. Yum. Yep. I’ve been a frosting thief and been known to only eat the frosting, on certain cakes. I do so without shame, too!

TJBM has a secret, but won’t share!

I have lots of secrets, but I generally wind up sharing them if I’ve had tequila.

The jelly below me thinks the idea of a drunk JilltheTooth sounds adorable.

Yep and downright hysterical, too.

TJBM is scared of the dark. Not that I would make fun of such a jelly. I still have nightlights in my house.

True, but only outside. I won’t go outside by myself at night, even though I live in a safe neighborhood.

TJBM loves noodle soup.

True- I love hot chicken noodle soup cooled off with a dollop of cottage cheese.

TJBM has never had poodle soup.

True, but I’ve come pretty close a few times to making Puli soup. Zup’s a Puli. And a lunatic.

TJBM is not having a traditional holiday meal, but winging it with something fun.

Yep.I will be dining on M&Ms :)
TJBM plays an instrument.

True – (but the instrument is mine own.)

TJBM has the day off work today.

Nope but it is my last day at work before my 12 day break so I don’t mind.

TJBM wants a cold glass of milk.

Totally false. I’m lactose intolerant!
TJBM secretly wants to massage my meaty monkey thighs…

True, but then you know I’d do anything for you…

The jelly below me has a love/hate relationship with butter.

This is true. I love butter, but when I eat it, the Crisco sticks get jealous.
TJBM is in need of a haircut.

This is true, I will have to get the clippers out when I get home.
TJBM is not prepared for Christmas.

false – just wrapped the last of my presies, tree and decorations up and Christmas Dinner at my parents house so no need to do any prepeatoin or cooking!!
The Jelly below me prefers to wear wellies in the snow rather than walking boots!!

True! I love Wellies!
The Jelly below me is tired of the commercialism at Christmas.

Quite true. At the same time, I can’t help myself from buying into it every year… figuratively and literally. Luckily, being an art major means I can make more gifts for people. Win.

The jelly below me is listening to Michael Jackson.

False – I’m listening to the wind outside the balcony – it’s freezing!
TJBM will be kind enough to start a Part II of this thread elsewhere!

False. Im lame like that.

TJBM is currently quite cold.
fuck winter

Yes- I am in the car with the heater on to avoid the cold. (yeah I live in California but it is unusually cold and I am a wimp)

TJbM has a pile of unwrapped gifts they have to tackle and wishes there was a wrapping fairy.

True and when the wife has gone to bed they’ll be sorted.
TJBM is having a drink and getting in the festive spirit.

True drinking kopperberg cider in the glow of the tree lights
The jelly below me keeps candles because they look nice rather than uses them!

I have a couple that I don’t burn…but they’re Christmas Soldiers. Other than that I burn candles. I love candles!
TJBM doesn’t come here nearly often enough!

OK, OK, I’m back, now. Though, I must say, quite flattered that you think it’s not often enough!

TJBM needs to go see True Grit whether they really want to or not. It’s really good.

I never get tired of you @JilltheTooth! You maka me laugh!

Apparently that’s true. But it doesn’t really appeal to me. The last two movies I saw were The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (4 people in my group of about 8 or 10 were in costume) and Tangled. True Grit isn’t my thing.

TJBM has seen a chick flick in the last week.

@ChocolateReigns ; I thought so, too, but the writing is marvelous, the acting is truly superlative, and the filming is really beautiful. I was stunned, and I went in with a serious “I’m not gonna like this and nobody can make me” ‘tude.

False. Chick flicks make me twitch. I avoid them and their predictable saccrine plots at all costs.

TJBM eats the middles out of oreos then tosses the cookie parts in the trash.

^^^ Umm, sounds interesting, but what exactly is a muddle? Hehe

@JilltheTooth Darn that tiny print and my eyes! I was going….”...no one can make her turd?” WHAT??!!

True! I hate the cookie, love the middle. Why doesn’t someone just sell the middle of oreo’s?
TJBM got some afternoon delight today.

True. Well Costco did have batteries on sale.

TJBM has never had a fluffernutter sandwich

False. I love fluffernitters. And PB & banana sammiches.
TJBM thinks that bubble baths are essential to ones mental health.

Oh indeedy – sometimes twice in one day!

TJBM is glad to be playing this game.

Absolutely! I’d love it if it went on forever! And I know just the penguin ^^^^^ to start a new thread!
TJBM seconds the motion!

Noooooooo! I want to start the new thread.
Someone PM me and let me know how to do it.

TJBM love to give advice

I fully support your (AmWiser) request to start the new thread. :-)

I like to give advice if I’m asked to.

SPOILER ALERT ;-)
The realization that there’s no Santa Claus (the one with the flying sleigh who delivers billions of presents in a 6-hour period) was not a traumatic event for TJBM.

False, I was so looking forward to that scenario:D

TJBM will follow all of us to the new thread
Thanks

True!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Lurve;-)

New Thread

See you all there!