WARNING- Alternates between cranky and cuddly. Doesn’t put up with any shit and has no problem calling you out, even in public. Has been known to explode with minimal provocation. Coos over babies and kittens and cries during the same movies, repeatedly. Loves making jokes. Any attempts to thieve her chocolate will result in loss of limb.
*Possible side effects from consorting with this person include the following but are not limited to: headhache, disbelief, rash spurts of anger, insomnia, temporary deafness, random hilarity, madness/temporary insanity, desire to bang one’s head against a wall, mild to severe irritation, incontinence, nausea, and sudden chocolate cravings.
*Please consult your doctor immediately if these symptoms persist or worsen.