Chemotherapy is a catch all name for several different types of treatment, and the treatments have improved over time. I would seriously consider discussing your concerns with your doctor. Also consider if your insurance covers a residential cancer treatment center, where you can get round the clock care and counseling.

I am sorry about your diagnosis Mrs.D.
I personally would do exactly as you are doing.
Good luck with everything.<<HUGS>>

I too am very sorry for what you are going through.

You need to do what you need to do. Talk to your doctor about your concerns. Look into all your options.

Hugs to you and your family in this difficult time.

I’m so sorry to hear that, I hope you recover as quickly as possible. If I were in your shoes I would get the chemotherapy though, and also you could do all the alternative therapies too. Try everything. I have heard Louise Hay beat cancer herself without the usual methods through the power of positive thinking and other things like that, also Jon Kabat Zinn helps people with illnesses through mindfulness meditation, he has a good talk on youtube that you could watch if you have an hour or so, sorry I can’t make links on this computer. Best wishes.

This doesn’t help but I just threw my 30 minute old pack of smokes in the garbage.

Best of luck, this might have saved me.

What awful news. I’m so sorry to hear it.

You asked “what would you do?”, so I’ll try to answer that. Coming from a point of reference where I have zero experience with any family members receiving cancer treatment of any kind, I’d have to start researching. I guess I’d start by talking to my oncologist about treatment options and likely outcomes. If I received advice that said chemo gave me a 10% chance of a five-year survival, for example, but that was the best chance I had, and it was (just to throw out a number) “twice the chance as any other treatment offers”, then I’d go for the chemo.

Maybe you should put aside personal and anecdotal evidence that influences your decision and treat this as a scientist would, with a wider data search and consultation. I believe that your attitude will play a major part in your prognosis, so you kind of have to have some faith in the treatment, but ultimately is some kind of treatment that could save your life, and it’s your chance to get the best treatment that you can regardless of what you may have heard of it or recalled of it in the past.

Cancer treatments advance pretty rapidly. The chemo treatments available to you today may not resemble in any way other than name the ones that your grandfather had—how many decades ago? (No, I’m not asking; it’s a rhetorical question.)

Please pick a treatment that will save your life. Good luck doing that.

Oh, dear me, I am so sorry.

My father opted to end chemo after a few treatments because he said the cure was worse than the disease. That was 27 years ago. Much progress has been made since then. My husband received radiation and chemotherapy for stage 4 lung cancer 5 years ago, and they shrank the tumors enough to permit surgery to take everything out. He passed his 5-year mark at Thanksgiving with a clean report.

I feel sure that I would go for the treatments. People react differently to them. Both my husband and my former manager said their reactions were much less severe than they had expected. I would take my chances at least once rather than letting someone else’s experience of many years ago make my choice for me.

I’m so sorry, what an awful thing to have to go through.

What about trying chemotherapy out? If it’s really as awful as you expect, you can discontinue it, and then perhaps your family will feel more at ease since you gave it a shot?

Chemo has changed a lot since your grandfather went through it. Don’t cheat yourself by eliminating it as an option. At least look in to it.

I also know someone who was able to have successful surgery after chemo. You don’t say your age. I was a chemo nurse for 10 years and the changes in chemotherapy has improved by leaps and bounds. Also some conditions respond well to chemo.

I am sorry you have to deal with this.

Personally, I’d research the hell out of whatever I was considering. I would conduct that research in scientific journals, and look for what had actual scientific findings to back it- not vague claims of “effectiveness.” I would realize that most “alternative therapies” are money-making bunk from con artists out to make a buck from sick people. I would try to make a decision based on knowledge, not just emotion, and I would try to make sure I had the most current knowledge.

I would also talk over with my family what I did and did not want done to me, and make sure I had an advance directive that specified this in writing.

@MrsDufresne I have two tales to offer you on the matter.
The first is about a former work colleague of mine, who, 2 years ago, was advised (by medical professionals) that he had approx. 3 months to live. He was diagnosed with an inoperable tumour, close to his spine and vital organs. He became downcast and went so far as to write good bye letters to his family. However, his wife chanced upon an article, in a national newspaper (here in England), about a revolutionary new treatment for cancer. My former colleague then took the article and showed it to his doctor. His doctor then contacted him a couple of days later and advised him to go to London and have tests done for this treatment. He did this and subsequently had the treatment. A few weeks later, he was told that his cancer had completely cleared up. I spoke to him last week and he is still completely fine. The treatment that he underwent is called Tomotherapy. It is now available on the National Health Service over here.

The second tale concerns myself, and how I saw this programme about twenty years ago. And about how I have always kept knowledge about this in mind since.

The will to seek advice widely that you are demonstrating here is very positive and encouraging.
Well done Mrs.
Here’s looking forward to hearing some good news from you on this in the near future.

What a tough decision. There are too many unknowns for us to even begin to give you intelligent advice. Things like: your age, state of health, mental state, family situation, financial situation, etc. are all big factors.

You need to talk with someone who has been through it and can give you advice. A certain 3 letter jelly might contact you. I will not violate her privacy and mention her name here. If you don’t hear from her I’ll send her a PM to contact you if she feel it is appropriate.

There is another sweet, caring jelly who worked hospice. She might also contact you. Once again I will gladly PM her at your request – unless she finds you first. She can tell you what it’s like.

No one should have to face this. On the bright side (if there is one) you are being presented with a choice. Like it or not, you are in control. That helps.
Any choice you make is the right one.

First, I am sorry to hear that you have to face such a challenge. You asked what would I do if I were in your situation? I don’t know. But I do know that it is better to follow your heart and your beliefs in whatever situation that concerns self.

I think that I would have a conversation with my doctor about my concerns regarding chemotherapy. And then listen to what the doctor has to say.

I would take into account the prognosis for Stage 4 lung cancer is you were to have chem vs. if you didn’t.

I think I would hold off on alternative treatments without knowing what their success rates are.

Please take care of yourself.

I apologize in advance for not having any advice to give, but I just want to say I am so sorry to hear this and I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do. Best of luck, hon.

How horrible! I know this might not mean much to you, but I’ll be praying for you and your family! Please keep us posted!

I am stunned that weeks ago I was suggesting mere Yoga poses to relieve your discomfort with you soreness…this news is disheartening at best. I cannot offer anything more than prayers and wishes for the best outcome possible and I would tell you to do what I tell everyone to do….live each day like there is no tomorrow.

My initial reaction is to agree with your decision. I witnessed two uncles suffer through the worst chemo had to offer to the bitter end. Suffice to say, I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

But that was almost a decade ago and two years ago my father died of cancer. A death that may have been hastened by his choosing to not have chemotherapy.

So I don’t know – but I do know that @YARNLADY is correct that “chemotherapy” is a blanket term that encompasses many different treatments. I also know that advancements are made regularly and that what my uncles endured may no longer exist.

I think you owe it to yourself to investigate all options, including chemo.

With all that being said, I wish the best of luck and am truly sorry you have to face this.

ad astra pers a pera

I have nothing to add to the answers above, but I’m so sorry you’re faced with this. Please keep us posted. {hugs}

Son of a bitch, this sucks Mrs D. I’m so sorry this is what you’re facing. They have made huge strides in chemo since your grandfather. It it were me, and the chemo was not going to have any potential to cure the cancer, or buy me some additional quality time, I would pass on it. I agree with your outlook. But, if the Drs thought it might have a chance, I’d give it a shot. At least for a little bit. Here’s a prayer and a hug for you.

Do what makes you feel stronger, listen to that inner voice of yours and go forward in the right direction, whatever that direction is for you. Gather all the strength within you and fight that f…king illness, hit it so hard that it will not rear its ugly head again! May the coming year fill you with strength, mental and physical balance and the will to keep up your battle against it.

This time next year you will be telling us how you are coming through it all a winner.

@ZEPHYRA: ”This time next year you will be telling us how you are coming through it all a winner.”

Amen to that.

Whether you’re a praying, hoping, or happy thoughts kind-of-Jelly, let’s all focus our energies on that for @MrsDufresne.

Have you asked Mariska?

This is horrifying news you have to deal with, @MrsDufresne , the only thing I can add is to repeat what some others have said, please talk to your oncologist about options. My cousin who is 66 is finishing up treatment for Stage 4 lung cancer and his prognosis is excellent. Treatment has been so improved in recent years, there is much more hope than there used to be. Best of luck, my prayers and good wishes go out to you.

Sadly we found out here that @MrsDufresne has died.
A lovely woman gone far too soon.

Oh no. Poor @MrsDufresne.

thanks for the update.

Sadness.

That is very sad.

I’m just so saddened.

Do not “lurve” this post, anyone. Please.