Besides hundredss of yellow ribbons around the old oak tree?

Has he got a sense of humor? How about handcuffs?

Your boobs?
ETA: Oh, wait, how old are you?

You!

I assume he misses vaginas, and possibly being on top.

You can name a star after him. For real.

www.starregistry.com

According to one friend “nothing says i love you like swallowing my cock”.

Maybe have a meal of all of his favorite foods waiting for him?

Am I the only one wondering why he’s in jail? Depending on what he was in jail for, I don’t know that I would be all that sweet and welcoming…

How long was he away? If it was more than 6 months he will be suffering from culture shock and sensor overload. You don’t have to do anything big. Just being yourself and having a quiet evening alone is enough. Honest. Let him talk – if he wants to.
Meeting him at the jail and picking him up is enough.

You know what he did. Do you think it will ever get better? You have to decide that for yourself.

@crisw Because only bad people ever end up in jail…

@lapilofu And everyone in jail is innocent.

He was only in jail for 16 days.. which felt like an eternity… but it wasnt for anything aweful… just didnt finish his Alcohol classes… missed a few and they gave him jail time… i want to do something special since he missed new years

Obviously make sure it does not revolve around alcohol. Get rid of any you have in the house.
Just do it.

I used to think only criminals were in jail until a friend of the family was sent away for being over 20 and having consensual sex with his girlfriend 10 days before her 17th birthday. Her parents pressed charges and all the DA needed to convict was their birth certificates. An easy score. What a waste…

Just be caring and supportive. Understand he may be a little skiddish.
And don’t say anything about the new tattoo of a woman on his back.

Go rob a convenience store together.

@bolwerk just saw your answer, nice one

SOOO glad I didn’t say “Champagne”.

Have a candle lit steak dinner of filet mignon with reasonably priced champagne and Luther Vandros Greatest Hits playing softly in the background.Put on your classiest negligee while serving dinner and let the ambiance play out the evening.P.s. remember the whipped cream!

@hotgirl67 He was in jail because he didn’t finish his alcohol classes. Champagne probably isn’t a good idea.

I’m sorry. In that case purchase sparkling grape soda that looks like a champagne bottle and I would also travel to a favorite bakery near by and select several luscious bakery treats because he probably has greatly missed them.

Why is the military requirement without reference? I don’t see where it mentions that anywhere.

Maybe it shouldn’t be anything too overwhelming. Maybe not even whelming. A meal of real food will probably be nice. Maybe a nice cut of beef, if he likes that. The other thing I was thinking of was a warm bath and maybe a massage. Let him sleep, too. Who knows how much he got in jail.

Depending on his experience and how prepared for jail he was, he could be in shock. It could have been very traumatic. Maybe they even tried to make it traumatic so he would stay away from alcohol, and start going to meetings so he never ends up there again.

Help him feel safe and warm and comfortable. No big party. No adventures. Just a cocoon. The two of you. Sleep.

@bookwoman11 that’s what I did when I wanted to give a gift to a former lover who disappointed me terribly. It gives him a lot of nothing [especially if his hame sounds awful on a star like JoJo Rabinowitz, and if you listen carefully the star-name sellers are working in the same boiler room of 800 lines as the PoPeel Pocket Fisherman sellers and the Miracle Hair Grow sellers.
For cynical me, this is anti-romantic.

@anartist Actually, the Star Registry has been around for 30+ years, and their assignments are registered in the Library of Congress. And, yes, like everything else, phony imitators have popped up over the years. When I did this for the love of my life, he was thrilled and touched. Different strokes, I guess. Best regards.

@bookwoman1 I named a star Timmy Levine in 1984 and it came with the whole 9 yards — I think I was in pretty close to the ground floor of the original star registry. But I followed up on the 800 numbers after hearing something odd when I called. Still, it is cost effective to rent a desk in a boiler room when all you are doing is taking requests and filing some documents.

I didn’t say it was a scam. It’s just the cynic in me that sees it as an empty,absurd mockery of a gift. Then again, I never claimed to be a romantic. Tim wasn’t either.

Whatever floats your boat.

Best regards back atcha.

@wundayatta, love the use of “whelming” in your post! :-)

@anartist the weird thing was that my spell checker thinks it’s a real word. I always thought it was a joke.

I think “Whelm” is what whales do instead of “give birth.”

OK… well thanks guys… He comes home this morn. and I bought sparkling cider, dozen red roses ( most are torn apart ) I made a trail to the bed room with the roses and lit the way with candles…. bought him an array of his favorite doughnuts, and wrote him a heartfelt letter, and poem…Its looking pretty nice in here….hope he likes it… oh yeah and i made a stop and bought his favorite stockings… CANT WAIT! Thanks for the suggestions guys.

You’re wearing the stockings, right?

__just checking__