About twice a year I’m gripped by the idea of eating a takeaway burger from one of the fast-food ‘restaurants’ at the motorway service station, and give in to the urge. Five minutes later, the paltry disappointment consumed with no obvious pleasure gained, I experience a headrush of low-self esteem as I exit the joyless premises, hoping I’ll never return, knowing I probably will.

I can’t quite understand why I feel the need to eat such vile anti-food, but as long as it stays at a few times I year I don’t have to worry about it.

@meiosis I have pretty much word for word, the same experience but with dirty bird restaurant. Its horrible, I just never seem to learn.

Orgasmic. WOOF!!

loll.. hey Cruse, hang around, and that one will not be near as important. When I was about your age, a golfing friend said that… as he was about 20 years older than myself and will never forget my response, “NEVER!” Now I know. Loll For sure!

No chance there @BoBo1946 that is why my mantra is use it or lose it! ;)

Well I just got back from a holiday with my mates that I couldn’t afford, which mostly involved excessive drinking & exploring the red light district by night, and doing things I shouldn’t be with my colleague’s girlfriend by day…

Now I’m just putting off studying for my exams, taking some opiates that I paid for with my student loan, eating some fatty food, drinking a glass of wine, chilling in my huge comfy armchair, and deciding what old TV to watch. thinking Seinfeld… mhmm

Oh and when I’m done ima call up my man and get some ‘erb.

Oh and it feels like every other day of my life, i.e. pretty fucking good.

I don’t beat myself up for my hedonistic streak, I do what I do, and then, it passes and I am back on track.

Hey, as long as you’re not a heroin addict, sociopath or spreading misery wherever you go, put down the whip and stop flogging yourself for being human.

As long as your ‘vices’ do not cause harm to others you’re okay.

@Coloma
Well… until you go broke, or die from diabetes, liver failure, lung cancer or some STD or another…

It’s a type of surrender to one’s own inner cravings, which gives a temporary feeling of what can only be termed as “relief.”

@The_Idler

Well, I’m not talking about serious self destructive behavior, but, a hamburger and a couple beers…meh.

@Cruiser well, give me a call about 20 yrs. if I’m around then!

@BoBo1946 Let’s make it 30 yrs sir. ;)

sometimes, it’s just so hard to ask a question on fluther.

Thank you for your replies so far. What I’m really asking about is the internal dialog and feelings before and during your surrender. I’m not sure I got enough of those kinds of answers..

@meiosis described himself as “gripped by the idea of eating a takeaway burger”.
Could you elaborate more on that “gripped” feeling?

loll

I myself don’t feel “gripped” but I do feel torn. I guess my inner dialog is between a whiny me and a strict me. Something along the lines of “but I waaaaaant it” “you don’t need it, keep walking” “but it would be soooo gooood” “who cares, keep walking, go home, you’ll be fine” “but I’ve had a craving all day, and I had an annoying day, too, so I deserve it, come ooooooooon” “no, there was probably sugar in that soup you just ate, give it up.” And then I stop thinking about it for awhile, but soon enough the vision of it pops into my brain again, and it starts all over with “mmm, that sounds good, I will get that” then “no” and then the whiner starts in. Today the strict me won (I wanted a hot chocolate and donut). Last night the whiny me won (I wanted dinner out).

Is that kind of what you’re looking for?

Yep, it’s hard parenting yourself.
My inner child is VERY clear about her wants!

I do put her to bed on a regular schedule because when she is well rested she is more likely to take ‘no’ for an answer. lol

Unproductive.

3:22 p.m. on the west coast…that makes it, officially…CORONA TIME!

Wheres my lime?

Yes, @nicobanks, thank you. @CaptainHarley‘s pretty right about the “Relief” feeling. What’s the opposite of relief these days? is it Anxiety?

@nicobanks said: “then I stop thinking about it for awhile, but soon enough the vision of it pops into my brain again, and it starts all over with “mmm, that sounds good, I will get that” then “no” and then the whiner starts in.”

yea, it has a lot to do with the memory of the vice, huh? The “vision” you have of it. The truth you know about it’s positive sensations when indulged. For example, I don’t have any cravings at all for Heroine (unless she’s a sexy blonde in a cape, of course) but someone who remembers what it’s like does get cravings.

Oh it is absolutely [CENSORED]. I have some utterly delicious vices. :-)

“The whiner sets in” hahahaha

@ETpro

Can your vices beat turbo jets in the hot tub? lololol Oh God, I have to go to bed now. ;-)

@Coloma Ha! Who said my vices don’t include turbo jets in the hot tub?

@ninjacolin “It has a lot to do with the memory of the vice, huh?” Yes, I think so. If it’s in your experience, it’s hard to keep it from your mind. I think that sometimes we can have cravings for things we’ve never had – I know I craved fro sex when I was a virgin! – but it’s romanticized. It’s not that it’s not as strong… but it’s different. Fluffy. Idealized.