How to deal with a broken heart and the fact he is already in love with another lady?
So, this really intelligent, gorgeous, and enlightened man (cross between Gerard Butler and George Clooney with tanned skin) came into my life unexpectedly. I had just gotten out of a 3 year relationship which had diminished after the first 2 years, so I wasn’t devastated but was protecting my heart. I had many ambitions and wasn’t in the market to find myself in a relationship. However, he texted me a ridiculously cute note the night after we met. He knew I did a 40 mile bike ride and was so encouraging. He pursued me, bought me flowers, cooked me dinner, etc. I fell in love and hard! To make a long story short, we took a cross country trip to meet his grandma and other relatives and we knew we wanted to get married. I had previously planned to travel to Costa Rica to study Spanish for 1.5 months. In the meantime, my bf moved into my house with my parents (I was a student and he was starting a business), he asked my father for my hand in marriage and bought an engagement ring (I wasn’t aware). When I came home, something inside me wasn’t the same. I loved him with all my heart but had walls up. We stayed together for another year – I was in nursing school and hated how much work I had and how busy I was. I neglected him and our relationship. What was once a thriving, beautiful, intimate and committed passionate relationship became a committed, empty, relationship. I was jealous of his free time when he was able to be creative, read literature, and socialize. However, he lived the life of a student – waking up early to drive me to school, rubbing my feet and back after long hours of studying…etc. He was perfect! I overlooked his compassion for me and snapped at him for ridiculous reasons. Summer came and he was excited for my time off and took me to a beautiful resort to relax and renew. He was going to propose, again but I was obsessed with taking a run or something else. The summer flew by and I still hadn’t put much effort into our relationship. When the conversation came about breaking up, I agreed we needed a break. But it wasn’t just a break, although I was convinced in the future we would find each other at the right time. I did a lot of reflecting and work on myself to get myself ready to give all I have into a relationship with him. At the end of my semester I called to meet for a talk. He said he was dating, I said we are supposed to be together and in time we will be. However it’s been 4 or 5 months now and he’s in love with a fabulous woman. I’m glad she’s well accomplished, beautiful, and enlightened. They truly seem perfect for each other. So here’s my problem – I am in love with him. Everything I read, write, watch, learn, and do brings me back to thinking we are on the same life path. I have let go of regret but I want to let go of him and stop thinking about him being in love. We have the same friends and live in the same city. How do I get right with this? And how do I get right with accepting his new gf becoming friends with my friends and the people that I know? It hurts so badly! I just want to move on…advice, please!
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