As some of you may be aware, I am existentially nihilistic. I’ve tried keeping myself active and busy with hobbies and other stuff, I’ve tried humanitarian/charity work, I’ve tried sex and relationships, I’ve tried jokes/humor and pranks, I’ve tried friends, I’ve tried fluther (as you can see), I really can’t think of anything short of drugs, alcohol, and criminal activities that I haven’t tried to keep myself “entertained.

In short, I’m seriously bored and have found myself increasingly thinking about a criminal stint, using L DOPA to increase my dopamine levels legally, or just suicide to either keep myself entertained/happy for a while longer, or to just get it over with. I am a bit worried about this increasingly common train of thought in my head, but even that worry is fading.

Any suggestions/thoughts/advice before I stop worrying about this completely and decide to flip the coin or what not?

(Note: I will be seeing a doc soon, though I don’t know if it’ll be soon enough)