I’m a fucking idiot is what is pissing me off. I’m trying to program my own video games, and while I have most of the skills I need to do this, I still need to learn some other things.
The problem, Is I started smoking weed in my teens, and this has damaged my ability to learn. Sure, I can still learn new things, but I can’t learn at the same pace I used to be able to learn at when I was a teen. I don’t blame just weed, the fact that I’m now 28yo probably has something to do with it too, but it is still very annoying.
When I was 15 years old, I could open up some code, read it, and guess at what all the code did. By just looking at the code and by doing some trial and error I could learn a new programming language, but now at age 28 I need tutorials, books, practice, and even then it wont all sink in.
This problem with learning also reminds me I’m getting older, and that reminds me of my own mortality, and while I’m not scared of death, it is highly inconvenient
But probably worst of all, is the fact that I’m still smoking weed, even as I type this up, even though smoking weed is obviously affecting my ability to learn in the long run, and even though im aware of this, I still obviously seem to be under the delusion that I can keep smoking the stuff while still expecting to be able to learn at a fast pace.