I don’t think anyone’s going to complain at @john65pennington‘s words. I know I wouldn’t and I’m an atheist. But I would be annoyed at the presumption, and I don’t think I should be annoyed.
I think there are plenty of other ways of expressing condolences that don’t involve Christian concepts. I am sure they are equally consoling. What @marinelife said was just fine. It’s the body language that is as important as the words. Maybe even more so. Just be with the person. Use whatever level of physical comfort as the two of you are comfortable with. It can go from hugging to just sitting together in silence.
I would take my cue from him. “Is there any support I can give to you right now?” Make it clear that you’re willing to talk about it if he wants to talk, and to go to business if that’s what he wants to do. Maybe offer to put things off in this time of need, so he doesn’t have to deal with any decision-making if he doesn’t want to. Then again, some people cope by throwing themselves into work.
The other thing that probably isn’t possible, but would be nice if it were culturally acceptable, would be to let him know he can cry. When his eyes well up, pause in what you are doing and just put a hand on his shoulder. The message is that you’re there, and you won’t run away, even in his grief. Something like that, anyway.
It’s different with women, but one of our good friends just lost her husband. She often starts to well up when talking about him. I think she is very brave, because she does not shy away from her grief and from sharing it with friends. A lot of people seem to be very private with their grief, and I think that makes it harder. We’re cool with her crying. We respect it. We don’t try to comfort her nor to try to make her stop. We let her grieve or do what she needs to do.
I said it’s different because I think it is more socially acceptable for women to cry and show their emotions than it is for me. I would hope that men could start to be more open about their feelings, and I think that grief is a good place to start because more people are accepting of that.