Captain Picard starts cackling, then quoting Monty Python bits such as: “Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries! Nudge nudge, know what I mean?”
Worf starts singing “She’s a Brick House” to Deanna Troi while Commander Riker cries in the corner, whilst blubbering, “I love you man, but I love her more!” “We’re gonna get married, aren’t we baby? It’ll be so romantic, just like when Luke and Laura from General Hospital got married.”
Doctor Crusher, starts swooning and caressing herself (whilst finishing off a jelly donut and a bag of Doritos) and whispering to Captain Picard, “I’m a lady doctor, but I need a man like you to be a real man to my lady doctor, uh doctor parts, hee hee heee. Do you have any Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s. Ha ha, I said Ho Ho.”
Data opens up the back of his head and starts pushing buttons and saying things like, “Danger Will Wheaton!” and “Geordi, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”
Wesley Crusher looks scared and asks, “Who the hell is Jar Jar Binks and why does everyone keep comparing me to him? I’m scared, somebody please come and Stand By Me!!!”
Geordi takes off his visor and puts a thong over his face and asks, “Can you see me now? I’m so dizzy you can call me Kizzy.”
Deanna Troi looks over at both Worf and Riker and asks, “Are those dilythium crystals or are you both just happy to see me? I’m so glad I have two boyfriends. You guys are so nice. And you have nice thoughts. But I am sensing that something has come up. Hee hee hee.”
Guinan says, “Have you ever noticed that my hat is made from stretchy spandex stuff and kind of looks like the saucer section of the Enterprise? I think it would be super-pretty if my hat was the Color Purple.”