For us, what we do depends on the age of the child, what the child asks for, and what’s most feasible. We had almost all of the kids’ parties at home up until they started school. At that point they know more kids and it is considered kind of rude not to invite the whole class. The schools here have small class sizes, which is probably why inviting everyone is not a big deal. Two of my kids have winter birthdays, so planning an outdoor party is not an option. It’s really only been the last two or three years that we haven’t had their parties at home. The home parties always involved games, a pinata, pizza, and cake. One year my in-laws rented a bounce house, and one year we hired a magician. Another time we hired a science themed presenter who did some really cool things with the kids, but honestly we got a big discount for those parties because I worked in a daycare and knew the people who ran those companies. :)
Our middle child has an early Sept. birthday, so his parties have been in the backyard, at the beach, at a local park, and at a nature center. Only the nature center had a fee.
I used to think parents were kind of crazy to pay to have the party somewhere else. Then, one of the kids really had his heart set on a party at a gymnastics place. The cost ended up being about the same as if we’d decorated our house, gotten supplies to for party games, balloons, and all that nonsense. The ease of the party as well as how much fun all of the kids have (although I’m still mad they wouldn’t let the parents try out the rope swing into the pit of foam blocks, stupid insurance regulations), converted me. There are some places around here that charge too much for a party and I’d never go there unless the child in question also agreed to give up presents from Mom and Dad. I’m happy to have the party at certain local places or at home, within reason, according to what the birthday kid requests.
It doesn’t seem to last long though. My daughter is turning 12 soon and hasn’t had a big party since she turned nine. She had three friends over for a slumber party when she turned 10, went to a movie and for pizza with three friends when she turned 11, and this year wants to repeat the movie and pizza night. I guess we have a few more years of parties for the boys before they outgrow them and prefer to do something with just their best friends.