@Jeruba Your idea seems pretty good. Although I think your comment about us letting ourselves be in the middle is off target. This is how all play dates are made. Kids tell parents they want to play with so and so, and then we negotiate with the parents if that can work out. This is because there are all kinds of arrangements and schedule changes that have to be made in order to let the kids get together.
Her father approached us, saying that his daughter was a friend of our son, and when we checked with him, he said it would be fine. We’ve never had to check with him privately before, so we weren’t prepared for this kind of mishegosse.
@SmashTheState If we took your advice, we’d be looking for a new school for our son the next day. Violence is not tolerated, especially if you initiate it. There would probably be all kinds of therapy costs associated with that action, as well. These kids are learning how to run things, not to break someone’s nose.
He’s the best at karate in his school. So he could take any of his friends out if he wanted to. But why would he want to? He’s sweet and polite and loving and everyone likes him. Hence the invitation.
His instincts are right. He wants to take care of everybody, not smash their faces. He doesn’t want to turn fifth grade into high school. It’s the girls he is most afraid of—pestering him to tell them what happened. Is he supposed to break all their noses, too?
I believe that using violence to solve problems means you have failed completely.You’ve lost control of both yourself and the situation. When you use violence, you solve nothing. You merely shove your problem out of sight. It will eventually reappear. It is what we are seeing all over North Africa right now.