Identity crisis? Do you mean a mid life crisis? Do you mean mental illness?
When I was mentally ill, it was very confusing to be me. When I was ill, I thought one way, and when I was stable, I thought another way. Which me was the real me? I think I asked that question here several years ago.
Harp was very helpful with a very simple answer. “Both,” he said. I realized that let me out of that trap. I didn’t have to decide between me’s any more. I could accept that some times I was one way, and at other times another. In fact, the whole experience has left me with the realization that I get nowhere judging myself. I just beat myself up.
There are things I do that back then I would have condemned myself for. Now, I don’t. I just focus on trying to help people and avoid hurting them. I allow myself to express the love I have. I used to try to hold it in, and it would burst out in somewhat destructive ways. It’s weird. But love can be destructive.
It’s a struggle every day not to fall back to my self-judging ways. Self-condemning ways. I hope I never fall into that abyss again. It is deadly painful there.