@silvermoon I’m so sorry about the “green card” guy. The same thing happened to my cousin and she was devastated, because he pretended to really love her. So so so sorry.
This new guy might be perfectly fine (down the line). It’s just not appropriate for him to ask you to wait for him. Things happen, six months is a long time. Things are just as likely to happen to him as they are for you. A much better fellow might show up on your doorstep next week. Don’t put yourself in the position of having to deny your life for 6 months.
Also, don’t let him convince you that texting and e-mailing and phoning long distance is a good thing either. You are more likely to fall for him if you guys have a “pretend” long distance relationship. It’s super easy, even for someone as busy as he claims that he’ll be, to give you a false sense of intimacy if you guys are texting and othewise communicating over a long distance. Don’t do it.
Just tell him that you have feelings for him, but since you are not a couple, it wouldn’t be fair to either one of you to pretend that there’s something there, when there isn’t. Tell him that you might be interested in a relationship down the line, but in the meantime, it’s best if you both just live your separate lives and if one or the other of you happens to become interested in someone else, then no harm, no foul.
Then you can throw in, “And by the way, since we all have these amazing New Zealand accents, how could I NOT become attracted to some other cute guy?” Sorry, but you all do sound so marvelous.