Social Question

raven860's avatar

What are girl bullies like?

Asked by raven860 (2179points) March 7th, 2011
22 responses
“Great Question” (2points)

What tactics do they use?
Have you known one? Were one? Are one? Have you had experience with one?
Who do they target?
Why?
How do you stop them?

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Answers

woodcutter's avatar

they are pretty much the same as male bullies.Maybe worse even.

Nullo's avatar

@woodcutter I would expect less locker-stuffing, though, and more verbal/social abuse.

Rarebear's avatar

Girls are more adept at isolating socially the person they are bullying as opposed to physical bullying.

optimisticpessimist's avatar

I have found girl bullies to be worse. Not from my own experience, but my daughter’s. Instead of physical tactics, they seem to be more inclined to use words and alienation. Words such as teasing publicly and also talking behind the target’s back to spread rumors. The biggest goal seems to be to get the target socially shunned. I suppose they target those they either perceive as weak or those they view as competition. I do not know why. We could never figure out why this set of twins decided my daughter should be a social outcast, but they did. We could not figure out how to get them to stop either. The teachers just thought they were the cutest things (being identical twins was helpful in that arena.) Their mother would hear what they would say and completely ignore their obviously mean behavior so I guess that helps to answer why they behaved that way.

podwarp's avatar

Watch Mean Girls or The Heathers. That stuff is real.

josrific's avatar

When I was bullied by girls is was horrible words and intimidation. They also pulled pranks like stuffing my head in a toilet and flushing or pulling my chair out from under me.

When I was bullied by boys it was name calling and all out physical abuse (being punched, slapped ect.).

I’ve experienced both sides of the coins and girls are way worse than boys. I’d rather be punched than being told I was useless and the like.

BLITsZ's avatar

They are usually after your actions, looks, and other stuff that I don’t care about.
Actions:
They will bully you on your intelligence, because they are jealous.
Looks:
They will bully you on your looks, for instance, if you can’t afford to have good clothes as they do.

BLITsZ's avatar

You can stop them by snitching on them, or you can hit ‘em sooo bad that they cry and leave you alone.
I was once bullied by boys because I am a little short but I am smart. So first I snitched on them, and they still went on. But one day I got mad and beat the crap out of the guy who bullied me. He left me alone from then on. His name was Darius. (my friend taught me a little martial arts when I was bullied. He knows taikuando)

podwarp's avatar

Follow up to my previous answer:

I’ve always been too much of a wallflower (make that wallpaper) to be worthy of any bullying. I actually never saw/heard of a “serious” issue of it in my high school (and I was in newspaper with nobodies like me and the “popular” people—so I heard enough of everything passing through grapevine), but there were brief flickers of it present from time to time that I’d see/hear in classes and even among my circle of friends. Even if it might have been a passing comment, but anyone within hearing would be like “ouch”. So… girl bullying? From my experience, it’s using the snootiest voice you can and saying something really vicious about someone else.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Nullo Not so true. A a matter of fact, my son’s best friend had a bully stalking her on her first week of school (this is a Kindergartner). She was punched by her, had her hair pulled, was pinched, and was verbally abused.

I’d say girl bullies are generally worse because they know which buttons to push with other girls to lower their victim’s self esteem.

How do you stop them? Do not show emotion. Depending on the age, alert an adult or alert the authorities if there has been physical harassment.

raven860's avatar

@optimisticpessimist How is your daughter now?

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
Nullo's avatar

@SpatzieLover Do note that I left wiggle room in my post.

Kardamom's avatar

Girls use public humiliation far more often than physical abuse. They might tell a girl that she is “desperate” because she has a crush on so and so. The girl abusers might also say that a particular girl is a “lesbian” whether or not she actually is. The girl abusers also might say that another girl is ugly or stupid or smells bad or has embarrassing fashion sense or greasy hair or embarrassingly bad skin or doesnt know how to properly apply makeup or wears stupid earrings or has ugly piercings or wannabe tatoos or needs to shave her legs or armpits or wear a bra or uses the wrong type of deoderant or feminine supplies or participates in socially un-acceptable activities or that her friends are stupid and lame, so that the abused person looks foolish in front of other people. But the really tough ones also use physical abuse if they find it convenient. That means if an abuser is big, they might hit or slap or punch a smaller girl, or smash her head into a locker or knock her lunch tray out of her hands, or knock her books out of her arms or steal her purse or her school supplies (especially in public). Most of these things will never happen inside a classroom where a teacher can see or even on a playing field where a coach could see. Mostly it happens in hallways, and before and after class where no adults are present. It also happens very fast, for the same reason. Adults are often too obtuse to see these things, even if they happen right in front of their faces, and even if they do see it, they don’t want to get involved, and even if they do, there’s not much they can do about it because the school systems also don’t want to get involved. So it’s not in any adults best interest to get involved with bullying. Plus they can always use the old adage, “Kids will be kids, grow a thicker skin.” Yeah right, that doesn’t help when a child has already been destroyed. Society needs to change for this kind of crap to stop. But don’t count on it.

jerv's avatar

Generally catty and more into tearing people apart socially and psychologically than getting physically violent. They also tend to be harder to stop because, while guys will generally stop once they have achieved dominance, gals don’t stop until their “enemy” is destroyed.

As for stopping them, generally there is little that will work. Ignoring them will get them to step up their game until they get results, and prosecution only makes them vindictive.

raven860's avatar

Interesting to note. I don’t get why the bullies themselves are not hated by their peers. From what I have read the only reason they succeed is with the support of their peers.

raven860's avatar

@jerv why not report them? Document their actions with the help of a friend and take legal action against them. If the school does not help then fuck them. “Bullying” in any sense is harassment and violation of civil rights of an individual. Any sociopaths who choose to engage in it should be reported and necessary steps must be taken to prevent them from further hurting anyone. Where the hell are all the good people? And why are a bunch of immature social misfits governing and spoiling lives of others.

beancrisp's avatar

@BLITsZ You were not a snitch for telling on them, you were a witness.

ucme's avatar

Shallow insecure harlots? I dunno :¬)

optimisticpessimist's avatar

@raven860 Fine. They moved a few years later and we moved a year after that. It made her stronger in some ways, but also a little more sensitive.

BLITsZ's avatar

@beancrisp
Well, you can say that too!!!

BLITsZ's avatar

@jery
Its girls not gals.

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