What’s the definition of a friend? Someone who knows everything about you and still likes you.
What’s the difference between a friend and a best friend? A friend will help you move and a best friend will help you move… a body.
A buddhist walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says me make one with everything.
An old man goes to the doctor complaining about his sex life, specifically, that sometimes he sweats like a pig, and other times he shakes and trembles from chills. The doctor checks him, he seems fine and calls the wife over asking her about her husband’s troubles. She says that he forgot to mention that they only have sex once in the summer and once in the winter.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Pokemon.
Timing is everything.