I think that that is obsessive compulsive disorder, but I can’t diagnose anything—this is all based off of my opnion. I think that the main things are that (1) You can not stop yourself and (2) it is something that is obviously repeated by force and as one with OCD myself, almost like you “must” do this or else something will happen, like the world will end. Those are the “symptoms” (if you will) of OCD. I MUST count how many steps there are when going up/ down a staircase. If I lose count, I had to start again. Nowadays, I STILL must, but seemingly not as much anymore, or at least not as accurate (I don’t know if you can ever “lose” OCD). Another one of my obsessions is somewhat related to my “staircase obsession”. It involves taking an even amount of steps for each foot on one surface. One example is cement sidewalks. Each square separated by cracks counted as one “surface”, so I looked like an idiot when walking in public alongside a road. If I took one step with my left foot on the cement square, then on the crack with my right, I must try to equalize it by walking on a square with my right foot and a crack with my left foot. Nowadays I Those are only two of my obsessive compulsions…..sorry for being so self-centered…I dont get to talk and divulge this stuff normally, as I would want to
Anyways, to sum it up, yes—I think you have OCD. The biggest way I got over it (though I still do it today if no one is paying attention) is by using commonsense. I just think, “oh, someone will think that I am an idiot if I walk weirdly on the sidewalk, so I won’t do it.” You should still pray, but realize that your god really will not kill someone just because you did not roll your eyes. I am assuming christianity, so you should understand that God would not do such a thing. Maybe even look into more of your religion to understand more. You just have to get over it; rationalize. I understand that that is one thing that OCD people may not be able to do in these circumstances, but it is worth a try; be open-minded as best you can. That is the way I did it, and that is the way that I feel is best. Just don’t ever talk to me when I’m on stairs….