We’ve been married just a bit over 10 years..and I realize that’s not all that long compared to say those who’ve been married a few decades.
Even from the early days we started with an amazing high level of trust. We’re both very loyal types – so we had that from the get-go.
What we’ve “grown” into over the years is.. the ability to “let it go”. It doesn’t always need to be hashed out right now. If it’s important enough we’ll pick it up and discuss it again later..but we’ve both learned to pick our battles much more effectively—with each other AND our kids.
We now can communicate without speaking..it’s not ESP per se…but sometimes I can just look at him and he knows everything I was just about to say.
I think we’ve both ended up adopting behaviors from each other, too. He mellows me out, I make him a bit more aggressive (aggressive in the sense of..not being so passive or allowing others to take advantage of his kind nature).
I’ve learned that even when I’m at my angriest with him..even when he does something admittedly dumb and I’m full-on pissed at him…I still respect him deeply. No matter what…I have very deep respect and just LIKE him..even when we have disagreements.
We’ve both learned to NEVER say the “D” word. It’s a no-go. Never issue idle threats or say hurtful things. They linger and leave too much damage.