Sweetie, you have been through a whole lot of stress lately and probably still are on account of your mother. Have you been going to Al-Anon meetings? One of the things I hear there as part of the script is that without help, living with an alcoholic is too much for most of us, and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it. (You don’t have to be under the same roof to experience this.)
Trying to control the uncontrollable does make people a little crazy.
And if things happen to be going well with her, so that you can relax a little—well, in my case I know that I often experience something I call “post-project slump” when I reach the end of some sort of big push. Just when it seems as if I should feel better because it’s over, I seem to cave in and things come crashing down on me. That’s because I’ve been fighting so hard to maintain, and when I can ease off the struggle a little, here comes everything I’ve been fending off. This happens, and it passes. For me, three days is usually the magic number.
Go easy on yourself. Your feelings are your feelings. Focus on the things you can do something about, and make a plan and follow it. Let the rest go.