I’m tough and unshakable in the face of danger and death, but something as simple as my phone vibrating in my pocket sends me into a panic.
I’ve defended friends from wild, rabid animals, told creepers to GTFO by being alpha as fuck, and fireman-carried sick girls into the ER before without breaking a sweat, but for some reason, the feeling of my phone vibrating in my pocket freaks the hell out of me. Oh yeah, and the dentist makes me cry.
Let’s review:
Coyote circling my friends and I hungrily while foaming at the mouth?
Dropped it in the nick of time.
Creepy gang-banger type grabs my lady friend’s ass at a club?
Told him he’d rue the day he decided to get fresh with her.
Good friend calls me crying saying all her bones hurt and she can’t move?
Haul her into the ER running on 2 hours of sleep in 2 days.
Phone rings?
ZOMG WHAT DO I DO?
Dentist appointment?
Cry myself to sleep and become Christian again for a day or two so I can pray to God that I don’t have any cavities.
I weird myself out sometimes.