@JLeslie: It may seem like a simple thing to jump on; however, I think of my sister and I. A conversation that she’s never let go of, but I finally did:
Mom to friend: (pointing to my sister) This is my pretty daughter. (Then pointing to me) This is my smart daughter.
Both of us walked away, without telling each other, with the feeling that we were inadequate in any other area, except the one she mentioned.
When a child hears things like that, it can affect the way they see things and respond to things. My sister, she only valued her looks and I only thought I was smart – I felt like I was the ugly duck of the family. Turns out, my mom was truly trying to compliment both of us, but it backfired, big time.
As adults, we understand the idea of letting words or thoughts roll off of us, but as children, words can hurt. They can as adults, too.
Not knowing the full story, it’s hard to know what is truly going on. That is something that jumped out at me, and because she mentioned it, I responded.