Never give up hope there is always someone out there for you. God has made everyone a special someone to love . I pray that you find that special one and will love you as you are and your precious children as well.

I am 42 and I am out there looking, you can do it. Just get your self confidence up and feel great about raising some wonderful kids. Do you think men look like they did when they were 20 at our age, heck no you should see the potbellies on some and the balding heads on the others and some are combined. I guess what I am saying is no one is perfect and when you go into it thinking that way you will feel less worried about the things you can’t change. If somone is going to love you they are going to fall for the whole you and not just the outside. You can do this just remember that!

@silent4geeta Thank you so much, that was so sweet.

@SvetlanatheGreat is your Avatar photo a photo of you?

@bkcunningham Yes it is.

You are a gorgeous woman! I’m not just saying that to be nice. You are really, really beautiful. I’m a woman going to be 50 in July (if the good Lord’s willing) and I found my soulmate 7 years ago. If our lives hadn’t taken the bumpy paths they did before we met, we wouldn’t be where we are now. Love will find you when you least expect it sometimes. Regardless, find something to do where you get out and meet new people. Not just men either. Girlfriends love to set other women up with nice men. Especially beautiful, grown-up women like you.

This might be a twist to your thoughts…get used to being single and build up the self-confidence in your ability to be financially secure and happy with the activities that interest you. It is the best way to come across someone who holds similar interests, goals, and beliefs.

I’ve have friends who never found love till they where in there 40’s. Confidence is something they all have in common. The only problem I think you may have is the 6 children. That is 6 people who rely on you and take up a lot of your time. I had only 2 and they were very time consuming and it may be difficult to start up a relationship and devote time to that new person and the new relationship. I guess a lot depends on how independent your children are and if their dads take them off your hands sometimes to give you some time to yourself to have time to date.
Its not impossible but I can see it may be really difficult in your case. Love depends on several things. Unfortunately most of it has to do with oppotunity and luck. So long as you realize that there may be some changes required in what your use to and leave that door open than you have the same chance as most.

I’m 42 and single again so I hope it’s not too late for you. It’ll give me something to look forward to.

The heart can transcend many things.

Thank you all for your kind answers. And @Pandora, right now I only have 4 kids in my house. I really hope that it is not too late. I don’t want to be an old maid!

Everyone tells me that being in your 40’s is still relatively young, I reckon that’s true. And, hey, don’t lock yourself up in the house. Go out with your friends, do stuff, have a good time and you never know who you might bump into. It’s not too late. It’s never too late, really.

Come to think of it, my dad re-married when he was in his 40’s, I believe.

You can find romance at 50, 60, 70 . . . end even, in one case I know of, at 80. At 40 you are still a young woman. Stay open to possibilities, and remember, you can afford to be choosy at any age.

You have to live your life as though you are doing enjoyable things just because they bring you joy. But it helps to pick activities where people (and men, hee hee) can be found. The best love matches come from when you find somebody who enjoys the same activities that you do. Make a list of your top 100 interests and corresponding activities that you could do that fit the interest (and try to pick activities in which you have to get out and go somewhere, even if it’s just down the street, where people (and men) congregate. Don’t just pick activities specifically because men will be there. If you don’t like football, then football is not a good choice. But on the other hand, if you happen to meet a fellow that you like, that is heavily into an activity that is not really your bag, ask yourself if you could learn to appreciate that activity. I don’t care for football, but for the right guy, I could bring my magazine to the stadium, order some nachos and have a jolly good time.

Because you are feeling poorly about your body image, make some plans to join a gym or find a group of friends to start walking or swimming or biking or rollerblading with. Even if you don’t look perfect, and God knows none of us do (except for Jeruba and Vanessuh) then you just have to let the angst about it go. Yoga could help with that, or even a tiny bit of temporary therapy, if you’re so inclined.

Learn to live happily as a single. You will become more confident just by living for your own joy and for caring about your friends and your family and maybe helping out some other folks who are not so fortunate as you (as a volunteer for example, plus I hear there are often men that volunteer, hee hee). I guess the point is to live a happy life, regardless of what happens, and none of us can predict the future. But there are a lot of lids for a lot of empty pots out there, but you have to shop on the right aisle at the restaurant supply store, if you know what I mean. Good luck to you.

We’re always up late if you need to talk.

It is never too late. My brother met his second wife while both were in their 50s, and they seem perfectly content. My SO and are are both in our late 40s, and it will be the first marriage for both of us.

All of the women in my family believe that life begins at 40. You know who you are, have more security than you did in your 20’s, and you know what you want out of life.

Go for it! You only live once @SvetlanatheGreat.

Yes most definitely! I have been to some really charming weddings as of late where my divorced friends find their soul mate in their late 40’s and claim the love factor is better than ever.

Yes….you can find love at any age. You are much too beautiful to remain without someone special in your life.

Just make sure that you don’t bother the neighbors….because when you get ready to start dating, the men will be lining up around the block to come knock on your door!

:)

Hey, I’m no spring chicken… I weigh quite a bit more than I did in my 20s, have stretch marks and a pooch of a stomach, and my hair is all kinds of gray. I found my (second) husband while I wasn’t even looking. He’s in his early 50s, I’m in my mid 40s, and we’ll be celebrating our 6th anniversary this August. Never, ever too late.

It’s definitely not too late for you.

I met my wife when I was 47 and she was 51. We’ve been together for 17 years now. :-)

You know as women (and probably men too!) we often look in the mirror and see only our faults. If you look back at the many questions about what attracts men and women to each other, looks are not right up there on the list. Certainly, looks may attract a person in the first place but if that is all we have, they probably won’t stick around unless they are very superficial and then, would we really want that person?

In your case, as has already been said, you are a beautiful woman. Attracting men is not going to be your problem. By the time they get to look at your belly, which I have absolutely no doubts is nowhere near as ugly as YOU perceive it to be, any decent man is not going to be horrified by your probably perfectly normal, post baby womanly body. I would imagine (and I am sure the guys here will correct me if I am wrong) that that guy will be so pleased to be getting you into the bedroom that you having a bit of a jelly belly is going to be the last thing on their mind! So stop focusing on those issues and keep in mind, repeat often, “I am a beautiful woman, worthy of being loved”.

So, how do you attract a man. I don’t think you should focus on that. Instead, focus on enjoying your life. Go and do things you love to do (with your children if required). Go and do that painting course or take up jogging or photography or bungy jumping or whatever it is you have always wanted to do. By becoming involved in life rather than being focused on finding a man, you are becoming the woman MANY men would love to have as their partner.

There is no age limit on love and in your early 40s you have a lot of living to do. Enjoy your life and I promise, there is a man out there waiting for you to love yourself enough to be open enough to let him get to know you.

Well, @SvetlanatheGreat , I am an old maid (by choice) at 57 because I’ve always been really bad (I mean really really bad!) at relationships. I’m short, chubby and have a fair share of gray in my hair. I try to look not inappropriate in the way I dress and present myself, and I still get romantic attention paid to me. I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that I’m comfortable in my funky skin and a happy person by nature, I’ve been told I project an air of confidence, I guess that’s what does it.

It really is never too late, as others have said. You might find love when you’re least expecting it! Don’t spend all your time searching, and you’ll find that you’re a lot happier and more confident. Spend time with your kids, be the good mother that you know you are. Take some time for yourself to do the things you enjoy.

As your confidence grows, it’ll shine through to the outside and more people will take notice of you. Ever wonder why men chase women who play hard-to-get? Because those women are damn confident. Not to say you need a lot of help – like someone else said, you are quite pretty! Worry first about loving your kids and yourself. Romance will come to find you.

Listen, if you have 6 kids you should be focusing on raising them, if they are still young. When your not looking for love that’s when you will find it.

Just be yourself. Never settle.
Love is timeless and will find you and you will find it.

I am still looking for love and I justed turned 40 years old. Life begins at 40 and I feel a lot better now then when I was in high school. I am enjoying life more as I get older. I know what is more important in life. (Family, friends, co-workers, and my church family). Never give up looking for love.

I agree with @Pied_Pfeffer.
Get used to being single and understand that terms like old maid should be taken out of our vocabulary. There is something called NLP which includes finding the positive connotation of a thought or behavior. I am 50 and single, and although I would love to find someone to share my life with, I concentrate on being happy with what I have rather than dwelling on what I don’t have and what is out of my control. Having said that, and being 50 myself, 42 doesn’t sound old at all. If finding someone is what you really want, work at it with a clear mind free from preconceptions.