There are a lot of un-expected “fart-like” sounds that will be coming from places other than where farts originate.
There is often a time when no matter how much you keep rubbing or trying to get something to happen (even if that person is on the verge of something happening) it ain’t gonna happen and all you’re going to get is rubbed raw. And the other person might not be able to bend their wrist for an hour or so.
Sometimes there is a lot of actual banging (not the euphemistic kind) of bed frames up against walls and skidding across the floor. Nothing like the sweet romantic loves scenes from the movies.
Sometimes, even when the partner is willing to give it a go with one of the more exotic positions, someone’s mouth and nose will be accidentally covered with someone else’s body part and not be able to breathe. And things will be seen from a vantage point that is less than attractive. Even if your partner is the most gorgeous person on earth.
People drool a lot more than you’d think. And sometimes drool can be used for getting certain things moving along a little more smoothly.
Complete darkness in the bedroom is not helpful. A lot of the stuff that will get you all turned on can’t be seen in the dark. Put on a nightlight. You can see the good stuff without anyone looking like they’re under the fluorescent lights in a woman’s bathing suit dressing room.
Ladies, either never shave your legs, or keep ‘em shaved and soft with lotion. Everybody needs to keep their toenails trimmed. Snaggy toes and sandpaper skin or bristly hairs is a big ouchy!