The Bieber slug was outfitted with a teeny-tiny closed-circuit camera on his little slug head, and it was beaming all it saw back to the Bieber HQ in Stratford, Ontario.
In the War Room at Bieber HQ, Bieber sat engrossed before a huge monitor, watching over a heaping bowl of dog kibble as the melee played itself out. He didn’t notice a toady approach with a tray of condiments. When the toady cleared his throat as toadies do, Bieber, turning, spied the huge salt shaker. He blanched and screamed “Oh No!”
The toady laughed maniacally as he said under his breath that Bieber must pay for all of the music he made that the toady had to listen to. You see the toady didn’t like Bieber, and had made plans on how someone must pay!
On the third day, Bieber appeared to Fenwich in a vision, and spake unto him thus: “eat this bread in remembrance of my perfect hair and eat this banana in remembrance of my teeny weenie.”
Bieber spoke to to Fenwich in reply. “Almighty Fenwhich, to make repercussion for the torture I’m responsible for all of the unpleasant cacophony and
bad motion pictures about my life. And don’t let me get started about the bad haircuts I’ve inspired!”. “I am SO sorry. How may I pay,oh wise one? I am sorry!, and will be forever!”
Fenwich said “you need to talk to the banana man” he holds the wisdom, and will help purge you of your guilt if you’ll find Charlene in the after world and kick her the shins!!!
Stanley fired Frenwich/Charlene and killed Bieber dead… again. He decided to make a living in selling condom balloon animals instead. One day, on the streets of Hurgisburgis, a young woman came up to him and asked him, “how much for the giraffe?”
“Yes, please!”, she replied. Stanley whipped out a yellow Trojan Double XX, blew it up and started flailing and twisting it all around. What resulted was nothing close to a giraffe, it was more of a badger with its head cut off.
“I’m melting, meelllttiinn…......”, she screamed. Now a puddle of nakedness, Stanely was now cold and lonely in his cell. One day, CRASH!!, the Kool-Aid man burst through the wall and said, “OH YEAH!”
he covered her body with a cardboard box and made out with her face. After a long night of caressing her face and licking it all over he decided he was going to marry her.
So, he just sucked on her face some more until one day, she was released from jail. She removed the cardboard box and said goodbye to Stanley. “Thank you for sucking my amazing face!” She was gone. Stanley moped, cried, and fell into deep depression.
She received the two dollars and fifty-five cents in the mail on October 5th, 2052. When she open her virtual mailbox and saw the money, she burst out with…
McFonalds, previously McDonalds, was bought out by Sir Frank Fonald, the King of the United States of America. After Civil War 2 in 2043, a king now replaced the president. Sir Fonald established a…
Mac Flounder was flabbergasted. “How could she?!” he exclaimed. The next day, Sir Displeasing was found dead in his bedroom. He received multiple blows to the head with live fishes. Detectives were on the case 24/7 for 5 years until they found this one clue:
A 50 cent coin. It had Mac’s fingerprints on it and was found in Sir Displeasing’s bedroom.
Turns out Mac had stole the money that Stanley had sent to Mandy who had put the money into the charity box.
And so the story came full circle. Mac was imprisoned for 3 years in the most luxurious jail this side of the Mississippi. Mandy was allowed to keep the 50 cent coin in remembrance of Stanley. But, 3 years later, after Mac was released from prison, he went on a quest to find Mandy.
They fell in love, had two children named Manley and Standy. They lived happily ever after until one day, Sir Displeasing rose from the dead as a zombie and lurched toward Candy.
Mac and Candy wondered why Sir Displeasing would rise from the dead twice and then become a ghost if only to dishevel their beloved knickknacks. Until they came upon the answer…
BAM! All of the sudden they were in straight jackets inside of a padded cell. Had all of this story been a hallucination? A big burly man opened their cell door, he was…
“Can I have a blue one, please?”, asked Mac. The Amazing Shape Shifter said, “Oops, these are for the cell next to yours. Sorry.” He closed the door behind him and left.
BAM! Mac woke suddenly in his bed. “Oh man, what a crazy dream!” His wife, Dandy, was there sleeping soundly next to him. Then, their was a knock at the door…
Mac was horrified… And then blinked. The mannequin was just a dream. But he began to wonder why would dream of a mannequin and a male one at that? What could it all mean???
He found a bar called The Flaming Flamingo. The line went practically around the entire building. 73 hours later, when he finally got up to the door, the bouncer said, “Sorry, we’re closing”.
Mac then decided to create a new gay bar. After many years of planning, decorating and redecorating, his new bar was ready to open. The bar was redecorated yet again and a contest was announced- “NAME OUR NEW BAR!” The grand prize was no cover charge and free drinks for a lifetime. Thousands came and entered the contest. Finally the name was announced: ???
All went well until the truckers found it. There was no room for 18 wheelers to park, but the truckers came and parked their trucks anyway. Soon the whole town was a gridlock of parked and abandoned trucks all pointing in the direction of ??? Bar.
Since, business was booming. Mac decided to build another bar on the other side of town in order to get most of the trucks out of ???. This new bar will be called ????.
A baby was born in India, his parents decided to name him Saatatya, which means never ending. Little did they know that destiny would connect these worlds.
20 years later, Saatatya, now a fully grown man, always dreamed of owning his own business. He had been following Mac’s nation-wide chain of bars in America. When Saatatya found out Mac was opening his latest bar called ?????????????????????????????????????????????, he decided to travel to Arkansas and see if Mac would help him run his own ?bar.
After opening his first ?bar, called ?Saatatya, Saatatya was viciously attacked by the baby ostridge from Kenya. It had flown first class on Kenya Air, but the airline lost his luggage which contained chloroform that he planned on using to subdue and murder Saatatya with. So, the baby ostridge from Kenya just beat on his head with it’s sharp beak.
After this Saatatya, had recieved a letter. He was given a Gold mine in Siberia and shotly after closed all his bars and stepped onto his destiny as he stepped onto the Siberian Express.
The tiny ostridge was confused as to what sort of life he would lead now that he was rich. That, and he also had no idea what he looked like, and whether he would be able to attract a female of any species, (seeing as how he probably was the only living ostridge in the world), so the Jelly below me will tell us what an ostridge looks like
The female ostridge was actually a mirage, but she looked remarkably like an ostrich. This is a relief! I thought for a while there we had an undiscovered species on our hands!
The doll popped. The ostridge cried his eyes out for days. After he was done crying, he decided to build a blow-up ostridge factory. This way he could never run out of blow-up ostridges.
So there he was, a mangled burned remnant of tiny ostrich. Not much left of him for sure. On the other hand, you could truly say his blow up doll finally blew up!
And at that very same moment an alien vessel had just entered the galaxy. It was the great warlord Zazu Whatshowanni in search of a red hooded cape for his beloved.
Zazu turned on his electrostatic red hooded cape detector with extra zoom ability, and immediately located the little girl’s red cape. His eyes lit up with glee.
The girl looked at Zazu and said, “My what large ugly tenicles you have and what a large ugly space ship, where are we going and when will you take me home?”
Zazu made a case to hold the lock of hair and displayed it on his desk at work. One day, his boss came over and said, “So, Zazu, how are those TPZ reports coming?”. Zazu said…
“Yes you have.”, he replied. “You suffer from dementia, remember? You must have forgotton.”
His boss looked confused and walked away, scratching his head.
Zazu breathed a sigh of relief. Phew!
Stanley looked vainly around the room for things he could stack up so he could climb out. Finally he stood the bed on end and began to pull himself up to the roof.
THEY were the ones dreaming. In the meantime, he hitched himself up and created a splint for his leg. He tied it on with dream stockings from his doting admirers, and began to once again pull himself up to the roof using only two arms and one leg. The leg hurt, but not so bad he couldn’t stand it (he was a tough guy)
his doting admirers swarmed over him. They soon became one massive pile of goo. It waffled and shimmered in the sunlight. After time passed it began to gain shape.
But this Brad Pitt was not an exact double. For one thing he only weighte 98lbs. For another thing he did not have any movie contracts. It was the pits.
Brad began to search for radishes. As a new clone he had no idea where he might find such things. He looked in a hardware store, in a dress shop, and in a gas station, but he could not find any radishes or BBQ sauce.
So, he decided to ask his neighbor, Bob Barker. “There’s a convenient store about a mile from here. Take a left at the light and head past the strip club. It will be on your left.”
“Thanks, Bob! Can I ask you one question?” replied, Brad.