Theodore Roosevelt.
Three bad guys stole his boat, once, while he was busy being a cowboy in North Dakota, so he captured them and held them at gunpoint for almost two days while reading Leo Tolstoy to stay awake until he could turn them over to the law.
When the Panama Canal was being constructed, Theodore hopped in a steam shovel and helped the workers dig.
He gave a 90 minute speech…. while bleeding from a gunshot wound. He opened the speech by announcing “Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.”
When TR died, the Vice President Thomas R. Marshall said that “Death had to take Roosevelt sleeping, for if he had been awake, there would have been a fight.”
Fuck Chuck Norris. TR is where it’s at. He’s been my hero for years.