Yes, I did. We still loved each other very much, in fact. However, for about the last 8 years of our 17 year marriage, we made each other’s lives miserable. After several attempts to correct the situation, including 2 separate bouts of marriage counseling over that time, we finally accepted that our relationship would never get better.
We had several big talks to try and decide whether we should stay together anyway or cut our losses. In the end, we decided that life was too short to stay in a very dysfunctional marriage, and that even the kids would be better off not living in a chronically unhappy household. When we went to a mediator to draw up our separation agreement, we held hands as we worked our way through it. We refused to heed our (separate) attorneys’ advice to take advantage of each other, and always kept the childrens’ best interests foremost in our minds. Our actual divorce was probably the ‘best’ divorce anyone could possibly have. The period of time just after separation is a whole ‘nother story. We fought like never before for quite a while. It was a huge adjustment, for both of us and our children. We’re mostly back on very friendly ground, now, but definitely don’t love each other any more.
It was very, very sad, (and later, very, very bad), but looking back, I’m 100% certain it was the right thing to do for our family. We are all (including the children) much happier, now.