“Do you know the way to San Jose?”. A stranger asked me this question and I just pointed to the west and said, “it’s that-a-way”!

I smelled alcohol on his breath.

Some twenty five years ago someone rang our doorbell we lived in an upstairs house so the front door opened to a flight of stairs, opening the door was done by pulling a rope connected to it.
I opened the door and looked down to see who’s there.
A stranger, an old guy.
I said: Hello?!
He showed me his cupped hands and replied: Is this your frog?

“Hey little boy, I’ve got a popsicle in my basement, It’s got your name on it!”

So far, @rebbel wins.

@JilltheTooth – Agreed. A great LOL to start the day :D

It wasn’t a stranger, but “Can you hold this flap of the cow here” ranks pretty high on my list. I was helping out on a cow cesarean.

While I was working at a bookstore, we had a regular “customer” who we called “Mr. Giggles”. He never bought anything; he’d just go around mumbling under his breath and pointing at books while giggling.

One day he came up beside me while I was putting out some magazines, and he said “You know, you’re gonna die, BAM! JUST LIKE THE KARATE KID!”

That was pretty weird.

do you have some fries to go with that shake? i know its corny.

It’s not what he said,it’s what he did.
He pedaled furiously after me on his bike.
I was on my boat.
Recently,a little girl on a field trip to the nature center told me I was pretty.
It was really cute.
I gave her $50. XD

That I have a nice smile [ since I smile most of the time ]

was weird and nice at the same time

“How much for 2 hours?”

“You’re a lesbian? Well, at least you’re not a dyke. Then I wouldn’t have a chance!” This was said absolutely sincerely by a guy who was trying to hit on me. My eyebrows almost jumped off my head as I looked at him, then I just turned and walked away.

I’m not actually a lesbian, but I was with my girlfriend at the time and had a feeling this guy needed all the discouragement he could get.

I work in the mall. I have all kinds of weird things from people. I think the weirdest most recent thing was when a woman came charging in and asked us if we had a giant Barbie bling necklace we did so I showed ti to her. She was super excited and then started freaking out. The conversation went something like this:

Her: I’m not a Nicki Minaj fan.
Me: Okay…?
Her: I just really like Barbie.
Me: Okay…?
Her: But I’m not a Nicki Minaj fan.
Me: Does Nicki Minaj like Barbie?
Her: She always wears a Barbie necklace like this. But I love Barbie. I loved Barbie before she did. I swear I’m not a Nicki Minaj fan.

The whole time, she was getting closer and closer to me and I was leaning back. It was very odd. She didn’t buy the necklace.

Yeah, @rebbel wins by far. What I want to know is if there was actually a frog in his hands or if they were empty…

This seems odd, but is less so when you consider that this person was very likely to have some kind of mental disorder:
I was volunteering at a soup kitchen, and part of my job was to restock the cups of silverware as people came through and took it. I just had to grab it from another shelf and put it, handle up, into a cup that was on the counter.
A man came through the line and insisted there weren’t any forks left. There were forks, but they were in the cup tines-up, probably my mistake.
I said, “Oh sorry, the forks are here”,
and he said “but these are upside down forks!”
“Right, I’ll go get some right side up forks.” I restocked the forks properly and he was happy as a clam. Haha

“I’ll suck your elbows and let you pelt me with oranges if you can give me directions to the bowling alley” – Just kidding.

I’d say its a toss up between “hey mate! have you got a spare spoon?” and “Tio, mira como les cago un enema a los guiris estos” The second one is Spanish, it means “Dude, look how I shit my enema out on these tourists” and was said by a guy called Tote, just before he jumped up on to a wall and sprayed a dozen tourists on the beach with a stram of liquid shit. We where all about 12–14yo at the time.

EDIT: the dumbest one (so dumb it is weird):

A little old lady once asked me “Excuse me, is the moon here in Spain the same one as they have in England?” After I told her it was a different one, that it was the Spanish moon, she turned to her embarrased husband and said “See! I told you it looked different”.

I don’t know exactly what he said, but I swear some guy at the mental hospital yelled something at me the other day about pancakes.

An older woman working at local chain coffee shop told me I have a very nice voice and should do radio or something. I’ve been told that before, but not by a stranger like that.

“Do you know where to find the potatoes?” Asked very politely by a disheveled woman pushing a shopping cart. Problem was, we were on a sidewalk near a park. Nowhere near a grocery store.

@Blueroses Should have told her to check aisle 6 next to the deodorant.

On the way to a town called Manacor, there is a street sign that says “stones for sale”. I always found that sign very weird.

Apparently, they are special stones for layering walls with.

Doesn’t really fit the question but @poisonedantidote reminded me of a sod-farm in CO. I wondered how many hippies got excited when they saw the hand-lettered signs:
Grass For Sale!
Weed, FREE!
yes, that comma was in place on the sign.

Not weird, but funny: I was in the supermarket one day, looking at salsa. A Hispanic man comes up to me, points to a hot salsa, and says: “Today hot up here, tomorrow hot down there!”

While washing my hands in a women’s restroom, a woman walked in and stopped dead in her tracks. When I glanced her way, she put her heart on her chest and said, “Oh! For a moment, I thought I had walked into the men’s room.” Thanks for noticing my short hair and relatively flat chest.

“Are you Australian?” Said by a British bloke upon hearing my fairly southern and very American accent.

Okay, years ago when I was a kid, my mother myself & my two brothers were watching tv.
It was fairly late at night as I recall & all of a sudden this bloke walked into the room, a total stranger. After only a brief while he said that he’d obviously gotten the wrong house, apologised & left. We all stared at each other, shrugged our shoulders & carried on watching telly as if nothing had happened.
Ahh, we were such a crazy…....calm bunch ;¬}

An old lady who was dressed in raggedy clothes and seemed a bit mentally challenged asked my wife and I about our baby and hoped it would be well. We had only just learned that my wife was pregnant at that time, she wasn’t showing anything and we hadn’t yet told anyone. It was a little spooky.

@flutherother THAT is really cool!

“If I smacked you in the face hard enough, your hair would go the other way, and you would look like Johnny Depp.”

The only thing I recall happened on Memorial Day as I was shopping at Old Navy. I recently discovered that even though I am large chested and have broad shoulders, some of their small-sized tops fit me, especially tank tops.

I made one last grab in an attempt to locate a matching tank for a skirt I bought and was holding it out in front of me in line at the register. A woman who looked to be in her 50s was in front of me, saw the shirt and said it was cute, and we chatted for a few seconds about the style. When she noticed it was a small, she unabashedly looked at my chest, then back at me and said, “Are you sure a small is your size, honey?”

I was pretty amused. I didn’t buy the top, since I would forever think of her when I wore it

I was in a Universal Studios gift shop looking at these corny Shrek bobbleheads. One broke and I looked around for someone to blame it on when this creepy dude with huge eyes comes bobbing his head up and down and said, “My family says I’m a bobblehead.” I gave him a look, then put the bobblehead in his hands and said,“That’s great! Have a free souvenir!” He looked so happy, and ran out of the store so he could show it to his mom. I later saw him walking around while his mother lectured him on why he shouldn’t talk to strangers who could be sex offenders. By the way, did I mentioned this guy was old enough to be my dad?

I have a few.

When I was at work one day, a very weird man with tattoos, multiple piercings, and the stench of cigarettes came up to me and asked me tap dance for him.

One day, I was working on the beach and an older woman that looked like she was addicted to a drug of some sort walked up to me and began to play with my hair and tell me that we were going to be best friends forever. Now that scared the shit out of me.

And then when I was working in Victoria’s Secret, an very scary looking woman came in and asked if we gave free mammograms. I’m 100% sure that she was serious too.

Years ago my then-husband and I had an all-day beach party at our lake house. One friend brought a bind date who was “Anne Lander’s” daughter. By mid-day we were almost friends, and she asked me, “Who did your nose?”

An old lady who walked up to me at a crowded bus stop and started saying in a strong European accent “ahh you look justa lika my niece! She takes her clothes off and shows off her boobies!”. At which point I looked horrified and the other bastards at the bus stop giggled behind their hands. Happy that I got the nutter at the bus stop. [now realising my choice of words is going to offend someone but it is a reference to a Jasper Carrot sketch (English comedian – Nutter on the Bus sketch).]

When the bus came, I went right to the back of the bus thinking… she won’t be able to walk up there ..she did. And continued to say similar things all the way to my stop. There was a very good looking policeman sitting opposite me and he and the rest of the bus passengers just laughed. I was very embarrassed. And I should state for the record, I am not her niece and the only showing off of my boobies has been done in private. hmmmph.

I can’t answer this, as I live in NYC. Strangers say weird things to me in passing every other day, and it’s impossible to keep track.

It might be the guy who came up to me at a bus stop, leaned into my face, spat, and cursed me out for what he knew I was thinking.

There was also another guy at another bus stop who told me: “Yes we did, no we didn’t, yes we did, no we didn’t, yes we did, no we didn’t nowedidn’tnowedidn’tnowedidn’tnoweDIDN’T!” over and over, but I’m not sure he was really speaking to me.

Sooo… the problem seems to be bus stops @jeruba. I suspect we should both avoid them at all costs.

I haven’t had to ride the bus in a long while, @Bellatrix, but my feeling then as now is that you have to ride public transportation once in a while if you want to maintain a sense of what the world is really like. Just the incredible pieces of misinformation that you can hear people exchange on a bus are enough to shake any faith you might have in the benefits of public education and the wisdom of the voting populace.

And this doesn’t even begin to take in the slices of life that solo automobile commuters to clean, civilized offices seldom if ever see in their daily rounds.

“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for”. ;)

I was sitting at a bus stop on a bench and this fellow in a white suit with a strong Southern accent told me, “My momma always said, ‘life is like a box of choclates.’”

One of my great aunts sadly had to spend a brief amount of time in a psychiatric care unit because of a very bad side effect from a medication she was prescribed. When I went with my grandmother to visit her, a woman came up to us and looked like she was going to start a conversation, but instead she started clucking like a chicken. THAT actually wasn’t too odd, I later found out, as many people with aphasia will make chicken like clucking sounds when they are trying to speak. I didn’t know that fact at the time, so this lady totally freaked me out.

The really odd thing was when this gentleman came up to me, pulled me aside and said “Don’t worry. That’s not a REAL chicken!” and earnestly stared at me to make sure that I understood the true nature of the clucking woman’s “not-a-chicken-ness”

“Where’s the beef?”

Ok. So my undergrad school was across the street from a natural history museum that was hosting Body Worlds. You know, the one with all the plastinated corpses. I was in a life drawing classes so one day we all popped over to do some anatomy drawings. I hunkered myself down and started sketching behind the body of a reclining pregnant woman with a window cut out of her belly so you could see her baby. There was a steady stream of people moving by in front of her, but from the rear of the case I could hang around without being in the way.

So I’m sketching, minding my own business and this guy starts talking to me. Remarking on how sexy the pregnant corpse is, how she has an seductive “come hither” look to her. I think he did that little beckoning motion with his finger to illustrate this. I just keep my mouth shut and my face neutral because I desperately wanted to hear what else he would say, but at that moment a perfectly innocent forty-something woman had walking past and she had the most profoundly horrified expression on her face. Oh it was perfect. The guy kept going, oblivious to the horror he was evoking in random strangers, but sadly the epicness of the situation could not be contained by my poor brain and I can’t remember what else he had to say about the corpse. It was all very complementary though.

I was sitting near the front of a Greyhound bus when a guy came up from the back and sat beside me. I hope you don’t mind he said but the guy I was sitting beside is starting to think he’s a dog.

Sure enough a few minutes later I heard a noise in the aisle and there was the guy on his hands and knees looking up at us and making dog like noises. We managed to chase him back to his kennel or whatever at the back of the bus and he didn’t bother us again.

Erich, I am your father.

Weirdest thing: “Oh, you saw the black cat. You won’t make love tonight.” Haha.

Nicest thing: a rainy day when I was walking home, an old man said “Hi”. It was nice, because there wasn’t anyone else there, walking in the rain. And that “hi” made me smile :)

I think I mentioned this before. This homeless guy once pointed to me and said “You are the true Princess of Ireland.I have an army of 100,000 willing to die for you to take back your throne. Not a single one is a straight white male.”

I didn’t take him up on the offer.

“Wanna know how I got these scars?”

having fun revisiting older questions

Working in the hospital at night, a rather rough-looking woman was being led out of ER in handcuffs. She was high on something.
She said to me:
“Sweetie, please tell these boys I’m not into this scene. I know a gal who is…”

How did I ever miss this thread? Hahahaha.

“I’ve got some popsicles on the basement!”