A few of my good friends are generally really happy people so it’s easier to tell if something is wrong, but regardless, if I’m not sure and I feel like something is “off” I’ll just ask if everything is alright. If they choose to say ‘no’ and hide their emotions, I won’t push the subject. They’re free to tell me what they want, when and if they want to.
I have known some people who bitch and bitch about the same problem to no end and I eventually remind them that they are responsible for working through the issue and seeking help and recovery if needed. I am not a sounding board to be taken advantage of. I have known and do know people who I believe never do anything about their problems because the sympathy and pity they receive from other people is more valuable to them than actually taking action. Sounds harsh and a little far-fetched, but some people will do anything for a bit of attention, even if it means allowing their problems to control their life.
I respect people who take control of their problems, even if it might take a while for them to end or subside. No one says you have to hold everything inside. We all know how relieving it can be to seek support from the friends we know will accept and listen to us and vent to them and get what’s on our mind off of our chest but there’s a difference between doing that and being an emotional leech that is stuck believing or pretending that things will never get better for them and avoiding any suggestions for progress and solution made by friends that could help them. I can tell the difference and when I start to feel like I am being used by an emotional vampire, I’ll begin withdrawing from the friendship. Those people are toxic and flipping a switch “off” and trying to ignore it won’t discontinue the unhealthiness it brings to your life.