You can send a thank simply saying thank you for the thoughtful/generous gift.

If she is the type of person who really cares to know if the gift worked out, you write a slightly longer note thank her for the generous gift, and let her know that since you already had a mixer you exchanged it for a blender you wanted, and hope she will be over to visit soon for some margaritas. If she will never visit there is really no reason to tell her you exchanged it though.

When I send a gift, the reason I want a thank you card or call, is to be sure the intended recipient actually received it. I don’t want my money spent and the gift never to have been received. If the person I sent it to exchanges it, doesn’t matter at all, as long as they have what they need and want. Especially for a wedding, that is why there are registries.

You can thank her for her kindness, her thoughtfulness, and her generosity rather than for the object.

Unless you expect her to be visiting your kitchen, you don’t have to go into details about the outcome. But it is practical of you and not an insult to the giver that you made good use of the gift as a resource rather than as an appliance, and you can say that if the subject comes up.

Thank you, ladies. You are amazing. I have been puzzling over this for a while.

@JLeslie I love that you just said, ”...that is why there are registries.” There were only three people that actually got us something off our registries; everyone else just did whatever they felt like. I kind of wonder at the purpose of registries if they get ignored. However, I loved the personal gifts that couldn’t have been on a registry (honey from a friend’s farm, aprons sewn by another friend, homemade jam and syrup from my great aunt).

@bobbinhood Well, honey and jam are made with love and that is a totally different thing. But, getting an appliance or a vase not asked for is annoying in my opinion when there is still a whole registry of items you personally picked and need. Although a Kitchen Aid mixer is a very nice aplliance, and maybe she asked a relative of yours if you already had one? She might have put some effort into figuring out what to get you, besides the obvious effort in buying you a gift, who knows?

I received about 90% of my registry and I was thrilled. It was not a huge registry and nothing outrageously expensive. A few of my employees right before my wedding pooled their money and bought all of the plates and bowls still not bought from my every day dishes selection. A huge box of the odds and ends! There were a few people who said they wanted to give me something more unique than a registry item, but most of them stayed within the theme of my register so it was fine, but I still have a couple gifts never used from my wedding 18 years ago. Still, that box that finished off my dishes with 3 dinner plates, 5 salad plates, and 6 bowls, sticks out in my mind as one of my favorite gifts. And, then many relatives gave me cash.

I think it depends on customs within a family, cultural differences. Some people think it is awful to give money.

Just a thought here…...............

If you do not tell her the truth in your thank you note, then you might want to cut out a cardboard replica of the Kitchen Aid mixer, when dear auntie pays you a surprise visit and wants to see her wedding gift to you.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

@JLeslie I love that they worked together to finish off your set! That was so thoughtful and helpful. Fortunately, we did get some cash, so we will be able to pick up the things we need. It’s kind of fun setting up house instead of being in an apartment with random roommates.

@john65pennington “Dear auntie” did not even attend the wedding and I don’t think she’s ever visited her nephew. I’m not too concerned about her ever being her to notice its absence. I am concerned with expressing my genuine gratitude for her generosity without offending her for rejecting the actual gift.

The great thing about Kitchen Aid mixers is that you store them away from sight. So unless you specifically invite her over for a dinner prepared by the mixer she gave you, there’s really no reason for her to think that it’s not in a cabinet or the basement or wherever it is that you keep kitchen appliances when you’re not using them.

Does she visit? If not, just say thanks the same way you would say thanks if you keep it.

If she does visit, the same applies, just pray she doesn’t ask to see it. Or say your next door neighbor borrowed it, LOL