Although after nearly 11 years of marriage we’re far past the early “in love” / infatuation stage of our relationship I often get these blissed out moments of feeling very loving towards, and/or loved by my husband.
It can be for something small like seeing that he’s already started preparing lunch for the kids (so that I could finish what I was doing)...or perhaps I’ve just come home from a trip and see him snoozing on the couch looking particularly vulnerable…and I just get this gush of loving, happy, contented feelings towards him.
Conversely, there are times when, for example as we fall asleep at night and the concerns of the day are still hanging heavily on me or we’ve fought or I’m just annoyed with him that I might, out of habit more than truly feeling it tell him: “I Love You” (but it means more like: “Good night, I’m going to sleep now”).
So, while I love him all the time, I often get reminders of that early time of feeling very IN love with him. I don’t recall how the transition felt…but I do know at some point we both acknowledged that we were going to have to “work at it” to make things go smoothly in our relationship. I suppose that transition is somewhere early on (in the first year?) in a relationship when infatuation and passion is not enough…and the other stuff (communication, shared values, etc.) becomes necessary.
FWIW, I think my hubby and I do both work very hard at being a good spouse to each other, communicating and being good parents… I think a lot of success in a long term relationship comes from having the ability to communicate well, laugh at ourselves, joke with each other, have common interests..but and also give each other enough space to follow our own passions to a degree.
So it may be that a lot of these “in-love” feelings continue to occur because we are otherwise in a good/healthy relationship…and doing the “work” of maintaining our marriage.