I wish I had a better answer. My family and I no longer communicate with each other because of severe abuse. After disengaging from them, the first couple of years were pretty painful and I spent much of my time crying around the holidays or in therapy (at that time, I was convinced that I was a “bad” daughter for leaving a horrible situation). Thankfully, I had my husband and some good friends to help me with those times.
Then for a few years, I tried to let all of that fanfare fade into the background and tried to stay busy the week of Mother/Father’s Day. There is something to be said for not having cable or listening to regular radio. Distraction and avoidance can be a blessing sometimes. Admittedly, there were also a few crying jags because I couldn’t have a normal relationship with my parents.
Now that I’m responsible to make displays for such events at work, I have to actively acknowledge Mother/Father’s Day. However, I’m no longer as emotionally raw as I was. I think that I’m still grieving the loss of my parents, but its getting somewhat better with time.