Based on your own experiences, if someone (an adult) asked you what to expect the first time they lose a close loved one, what would you tell them?
That the pain of grief is like nothing else and nobody can say how they will react until they go through it.
What advice would you give them for when that time comes?
To allow themselves to grieve. You can’t avoid it. It will happen even if you try to suppress it. Let the pain out and give yourself time.
What experiences could you share that might help or ease the grieving process?
To listen to their own inner voice. Do what feels right for them. Don’t worry about what other people think. I gave a friend who lost her son suddenly a journal. She said it helped to be able to write down her feelings as she worked through her grief and to say things she didn’t feel she could say to others.
I know everyone experiences the death of a close friend or family member differently, but what would you say to someone who is clueless as to how it feels and what to expect and wants to know for the future?
I think grief is a little like childbirth. Every experience is different. I wouldn’t want to say to someone “this is what it will be like for you” because I don’t know how it would be for someone else. For me, it was the most painful thing I have ever experienced and the loss of my father still hurts. I don’t think you ever fully get over losing a person you love as you love a parent or child or a partner. All you can do is take it a day at a time, keep putting one foot in front of the other, cry when you need to and be kind to yourself and trust that in time, the pain lessens and becomes manageable. There will probably be moments from that point on when that pain comes back. When you miss that person acutely. As has been said many times though here… this too will pass (or at least it will become bearable).