@dutchess III: I don’t know of any restaurants in the sea. Don’t mix your metaphors.
We built a really nice winebar with a pretty extensive menu right in the middle of a very family neighborhood in New York. We knew that our customers would have children and that’s ok because some of us do, too. Here is what I’ve noticed.
From birth, until the time the child becomes mobile, it’s fine. Bring them on in. I don’t mind your stroller if we have room for it, and if we don’t, I’ll bend over backwards to make it work.
As soon as the child becomes mobile, it’s too hard to keep them in their seat. They see the outdoor garden and want to run around in it or they see the spiral staircase and just can’t resist putting their lives in danger there. Often someone will ask if we have highchairs, and I’ll reply that no, we didn’t think them necessary when we built a bar. You can see the puzzled look on their face while they try to wrap their head around that.
Then when the child reaches about the age of six or seven, and it can be explained to them why it is important to stay at their table, these families seem to be able to come to our bar again. Every so often there is a table with younger children which seems to be able to control them, and I always make a point of telling them how well behaved their children are. Sometimes I even say it so that other families can hear it.
Sometimes when there is a screaming toddler I’ll approach the table and try to calm them myself. “Hey little buddy, what’s all this fuss about?”. It very often works, but if it doesn’t I’ll ask the parents, “Are we having a bit of a melt down? Would you like me to wrap your food and get the check?” That usually works.
What I really want to do when there’s a screaming toddler is approach the table like I’m mad about it, then take one look at the kid and change my demeanor and say, “oh my. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize your child was emotionally disturbed.”
Parents, would you be offended by that?