I think that the relationship between mother of a son and the woman that he chooses can be one of the most difficult of all relationships. A mother has been taking care of her son for a good share of his life, and then she has to step back and keep her mouth shut while he gets on with his life.
This is the way it is supposed to be, this is what we are supposed to be raising our children to do.
It doesn’t always happen that way.
Mothers who can’t stay out of their grown sons’ business aren’t always bitches, they just seem that way.
Some are bitter old bitches and deserve the nasty mother in law reputation.
Some are a bit lost without the role of mother/caregiver/nurturer that they have been living all their life.
I have three sons. My oldest is engaged. I plan to smile, be supportive, and keep my mouth shut. I like his fiance, but even if I didn’t, I would try to never let either of them know it.
What about the mother in law in the case of a son who is gay? I honestly think that this relationship (with a man instead of a woman) would often be easier on both of them. There isn’t another woman taking “her” place as the number one woman in his life.
I have had two mother in laws, I didn’t always like them, but I did try hard to get along with them, and I do believe that they tried hard with me as well.