I need people. I need to be loved. When I’m not feeling like anyone likes me, I get desperate and I need to talk to someone and I am crazy mad for someone to love me.
However when I feel loved, I can be alone. I know there is someone out there who will come to me eventually. I feel connected even though we are not together.
A group of friends get together each Friday night after going dancing. We hang out at a round table in a restaurant nearby. Sometimes there are only four of us and sometimes ten. We always make room for all. The thing is that at a certain size, the group becomes too big for me to talk. I just can’t compete for air time. Many times, they are talking about things I know little about, too.
So I tend to sit back and listen, unless I’m bored, in which case I might try to strike up a conversation with a neighbor. I guess I’m only social if there are things that I’m interested in going on. Otherwise, I can become kind of on my own, even though I am around a lot of people. Togetherness and separateness are matters of my own mind and have nothing to do with being around other people, per se.